Married to the Navy

Finally blogging again

2009-08-07T15:10:00.004-04:00

It has been quite a long while since I have been able to sit down and post. Lots has been going on. There are lots of things that need to be updated.. so here we go.

First of all, the move went pretty smoothly, we are pretty much settled in and falling back into a routine. Some things won't be "back to normal" until we get our own place and get our family back together, but we are doing the best we can. Maddison seems to be adjusting very well. I wasn't sure how things were going to go since she is old enough now to "understand" what is going on. But she seems to be doing fine. She is loving having all of her family so close by. It makes me happy to get to see her interacting with everyone. It is really good to be back in Alabama. I have missed it, especially over the past couple of years. I am really enjoying getting to spend time with everyone. Although, I am missing Beaufort pretty badly too. It helps that most of my friends moved before me.. but there are still a few there that I miss. Beaufort was a beautiful and interesting place and I hope to go back and visit many times in the future, but it is time to move on, and I am looking forward to a "break" and hopefully getting to spend a few years back in Alabama.

Which brings me to my next update, Brandon. As most of you know, he is currently deployed. This deployment is pretty hard, being the third in 3 years, but surprisingly we are making it really well. It is helping a lot to be back home, but Brandon and I are at a place where we are very peaceful. We are doing great, probably better than we have ever been. We are extremely happy, although very sad we have to spend this time apart, we know it must be done, and we are both very anxious for shore duty. Maddison is having a lot of trouble grasping this deployment, she is old enough now that she really misses him when he is gone. Almost every day she has a little melt down of "I really miss my daddy". It breaks my heart and some days I just cry with her, but she will be fine, I am sure this time will go by pretty quickly for her. She is coloring him pictures and mailing them, and we are awaiting boxes so that we can get the first care package in the mail. I will keep her busy, and vice-versa.

Brandon has had a lot of ups and downs over the past year. They have had crazy working hours so he has been exhausted, just to tip the iceberg. Many of you were wondering about the Blue Angels package and the Warrant Officer package. . well unfortunately both are a no go. Both were disapproved to submit his final package by his chain of command on the grounds that they could not release him from the command early to go to either program. He was too "needed" for this deployment. He took it very hard at first because he was very excited at the prospects of either program, but he has moved past it now and is worrying about the future and not the past. He did what he needed to do to prepare for both of those programs, but the final verdict was out of his hands. He now is trying for recruiting duty, back home. He is in desperate need of a change of pace. He was at a place where he was ready to throw in the towel and hang up his Naval career because of the enormous amount of pressure with no pay off that he was under. But he feels now that if he can get a change of pace for just a few years that he can hang in there, he really would love to stay in and retire, but at the pace he was going, he knew he wouldn't make it. So we are keeping our fingers crossed right now for recruiting duty. He also with take the Petty Officer First class exam next month for the 2nd time. Lets hope he makes it this time. . if so, he will still be a very young First class. The quota for advancement has just been so low lately it is very difficult for anyone to make it. But I am sure if he does make it I will post a very happy blog about it, lol.

Well, I think that is all I have to update about right now, at least all I can think of. Thanks everyone for all of your support! Love you all bunches!!

A What?

2009-05-05T11:07:00.009-04:00

So yesterday evening we had a maintenance guy come out to fix our garbage disposal.. he isn't able to, so he says he will be back in the morning and leaves. About 30 seconds later he knocks on the door again, I open it and he says "Ma'am, there is an alligator in your front yard!" I say "Brandon!" lol. We go out and sure enough there is about a 2 1/2-3 foot alligator hanging out about 3 feet off the porch. Well the poor guy wouldn't touch it. . and one of our friends, Nate, was here hanging out. So of course him and Brandon decide to wrangle it. lol. The ultimate Redneck show, Nate is barefoot and all. It was pissed. . it was hissing and snapping and probably could have taken off a finger if given the opportunity. Finally, Brandon pinned its head down with the rake and Nate grabbed him, then Brandon taped his mouth shut with electrical tape, because that is what they do on TV.. LMAO. Our neighbors and half the squadron came over to see the show as well. Then we were like "what the hell do we do with it?" They decided they were going to take it to the boat launch to release it, but I wanted to call animal control so they would take it somewhere else, and not release it next to the park where our children play. Even though he is little now, he will be big someday you know. So I got the number for base animal control, and got no answer so it transferred me to the MPs. Well, they get here all freaked out and not wanting to touch it. .lol. Finally they took it and I asked what they were going to do with it, and they said go release it at the boat launch. UGH. If I would have known that, I would have let the guys take it so we didn't have to deal with police reports and all that. Anyway, I guess the good news is that when he gets big enough to eat a small child we won't be living here anymore. Although we did see at least a 10 foot one down there a few months ago. . scared the BeeJesus out of me! Anyway, it was fun excitement for the evening. . and now Nate is a certified Gator Wrangler. . lmao.

Day 3 of

2009-03-05T19:33:00.002-05:00

Operation: One Hott Momma

and things are going well. I am hell bent on making it work this time and I need support from you people. Harass me. Don't let me give up. I have to do this, if not I will be out of hope for sure. When I look in the mirror all I can think is "how in the hell did I get like this?", it disgusts me. But I am such a "right here, right now" kind of person that when I don't see results in a couple of days I give up.

I feel like I have more motivation right now. I am currently only using the Wii Fit. I freaking love it. And it harasses me, which I need. And if nothing else the motivation of spending $150 to get it will keep me going for a little while. After I start getting more flexibility and cardio strength I am going to start going back to the gym again and so on, but for now, this thing is actually kicking my butt.

This is my routine so far: I start out with Yoga to stretch and get centered (so far I have unlocked about 9 poses), then on to aerobic exercises to get the heart rate up (so far I have the hula hoop, super hula hoop, step class, and jogging unlocked), next is balance games to try and work on my posture and center of gravity (I have about 7 of these unlocked), lastly is muscle training (I have about 11 different exercises unlocked). The game measures how long you spent doing each thing and tells you if you were doing it properly, how balanced you were and so on. . as of now all of this stuff is about a 51 minute workout. Pretty good. I don't believe in weighing yourself every day, but the game wants you to do a body test daily to determine your standings and it weighs you. So far on day two I lost 0.9lbs and today I was up 0.2lbs. (water weight I am sure, I drank about a gallon before I started today). But I don't consider any of that to be accurate. I will see what it says in one week and we will go from there. It also measures your BMI and mine went down a good bit since day 1, I can't remember off hand how much though.

But yes, if you have a Wii I totally recommend the Wii Fit and if you don't have a Wii, go buy one! lol. I think that I will be able to stick with it and do it every day. I have also been eating SUPER healthy over the past few days, no junk food at all (I even passed up strawberry strudel and coffee cake at mom's morning today. . GO ME!). I am realistic though, so if I am not able to eat perfectly one day or I have to miss a day of work out then I am not going to freak out and give up! I really hope that when I get back to AL I can join WW again too. . that will help a whole lot!

So thanks in advance for the support that I desperately need, and by this time next year I am hoping to be well on my way to ONE HOTT MOMMA!!! :]

Tomorrow's Forcast. .. 73 and Mostly Sunny

2009-02-26T19:16:00.002-05:00

I'm thinking BEACH DAY!! I am in some serious need of ocean therapy. Looking forward to laying there doing nothing, possibly reading a book, as the waves crash and Maddison builds whatever her imagination creates for her. Sounds lovely. Now, hopefully it is not extremely windy and miserable. . we shall see.

On the other hand. . Saturday's forcast 75 with a 70% chance of Severe Thunderstorms. . here we go again.

Pic of Maddie Lou from Yesterday. . LOL

Proud Momma!

2009-02-19T12:13:00.003-05:00

Brandon got his diploma in the mail today! Now it is official! LOL. Too bad he wasn't here to get it! :[

My Monthly Update

2009-02-18T14:29:00.006-05:00

I haven't written in a while, so thought I would give it a shot. For some reason I haven't felt like I have had much to write about lately. Well, other than bitchy whiny "my hubby is leaving again" posts, and I know you guys don't want to read that all of the time so I refrain. lol. Anyway, on to the updates.

Well, Brandon is gone again. He is on a boat det.. around a month long, dunno where they are going, somewhere out in the wide blue yonder. He HATES this boat so far. He thought it would be a million times better than the Big E, but he was wrong (well at least so far, things still have time to change). The boat is nicer and the amenities a little better (not that they get a lot of those! lol), but the rules seem to be a lot more stupid, the high ups total assholes, and so on. He says that it will be a long deployment if shit stays the same. I feel bad for him. On a happier note. HE GRADUATED!!!! WOO HOOO!!! He now officially has his associates in Professional Aeronautics (well not physically, he is still waiting on the diploma in the mail . ha ha). But he did it! I am proud of him! He is going to be taking about a year off from taking classes due to the fact that the will be gone so much this spring and then deploy this summer, he doesn't really have a choice. But he will be taking that time to get a huge qualification for the Navy that will help make his evals look really good. Then after that he will hopefully be able to start back to work on his Bachelor's. Getting this finished has made him 100% eligible for the flying warrant officer program. . however the navy has not put out their NAVADMIN for it this year yet, it was supposed to have been out already. . so we are hoping that they didn't decide to cancel the program for some reason. Wouldn't that be our luck? Well, as soon as that comes out he will be able to put his package in and then the waiting starts. But if he doesn't make it, we have plenty more opportunities that can be taken. Also, in about 2 weeks he will be taking his First Class Petty officer exam again. So we will be keeping our fingers crossed again that he makes that. . even though once again it is a long shot. He just hasn't been in the Navy long enough and they are not promoting very many people each cycle. . Last time it was about 13 out of 400 that got advanced. . but we can still hope! ha ha.

Not much new going on with me. . I will not be moving in March like we had planned. Still not sure if I am going to move, but if I do it will be in July. So there is still a lot of time between now and then, I will figure something out. haha.

Maddison of course is growing like a weed. I am so proud of her. She is now recognizing all of her letters, sometimes she has a little trouble with some of them, but she gets them other times. She is also learning her letter sounds. I think she will be reading before she starts school. Who knows? She is a smart one! I am anxious to see how she is going to handle this deployment. She is not doing so well with the det so far, and he hasn't been gone very long! She keeps crying and saying "I want my Daddy". I know it will be hard on her, it will be hard on me as well, but we will find our ways to cope with it.

Well, can't think of much else to talk about.. I just haven't had a lot to say lately. And nothing interesting is going on around here.

Some recent pictures from Charleston & Stuff

I am bored so I thought I would do it too. .

2009-01-29T11:24:00.004-05:00

I got this from Ashley. . everybody's doing it. . LOL

1. Where were you when you first found out you were pregnant?
In the bathroom at my first apartment in Virginia Beach

2. Who was with you?
Ashley Kay was in the bathroom with me. . Brandon was in the living room

3. What was your first reaction?
HOLY SHIT! Then denial, then shock, then acceptance. . lol

4.What was your husband's reaction?
Well, he was playing a video game. .and Ashley and I walked in and I handed him the test. He looked at it and said "that sucks" and went back to playing the game. I almost broke down in tears and Ashley hit him. He said "Holy shit, I thought it was hers (Ashley)!!" lol. . after that he was in denial, then shock, then acceptance. . oh and I took 5 tests. . lol

5. Who was the first person you told?
well, Ashley was in there. . so she saw. . we told Brandon, and then the first person after that was Nanny. lol. I wasn't sure how my mom was going to react and I knew Nanny would be happy. And before I even said anything to her she just out of the blue said "Are you pregnant?" I was like "what??? Why do you think that??" And she said she just had a feeling. . and then I told her I was. She was very excited. . and so was my mom when I finally told her. .lol

6. Were the pregnancies planned?
NO

7. Was everyone happy for you?
I believe everyone was. . if they weren't they didn't say anything to us.

8. What was the sex?
Girl

9. What was the nursery theme/colors?
Pink, Green, & Yellow. . butterflies/garden stuff

10. Did anyone throw a shower for you?
Yeah. . Brandon's mom and Aunt and some other family did. . and my mom, aunts, and cousins threw me one as well! It was very nice. :]

11. Did you get any outfits you wouldn't use?
Yeah I got a few. . lol

12. How much weight did you gain?
34lbs

13. Did you get stretch marks?
yes :[ On the top of my stomach and on my boobs

14. Did you crave anything crazy?
ketchup (which i used to hate).. funnel cake (lol and when Brandon got it I took 2 bites and didn't want it anymore). . chicken McNuggets from Mickey D's (I usually hate that place).. and ICE (I was so anemic), Brandon would go to 7-11 and buy huge bags of it so I could eat it a bag at a time. . lol

15. Who or what got on your nerves the most?
Brandon. And stupid people at work. ERG.

16. Where were you when you went into labor?
In the hospital. . I was induced

17. Did you have any complications?
none during my pregnancy until the last 2 days. Then all hell broke loose. . I had pre-eclampsia so they decided to induce. . then long story short. . the cord was wrapped around her neck twice, they broke my water too soon so I got an infection, she passed meconium, my first epidural dislodged so I had to get another one, I had a 4th degree tear, I ruptured 2 arteries. . hmm. . should I go on. . lol. . the main thing is that after 35 hours of labor we were both okay in the end.

18. Did your water break?
The doctor broke it. . way too soon.

19. Who drove you to the hospital?
Brandon. . mom was in the car too.

20. Did you go early or late?
Induced the day before my due date. . had her the day after my due date.

21. Who was in the room?
Brandon, my mom, and a bunch of dr's and nurses and corpsmen.

22. Did you video tape it?
No

23. Did you have any pain medication?
Yeah, I had and epidural finally.. then it dislodged because they kept making me roll over to make Maddison move around. . then I got another one. .but by the time it kicked in I might as well have not had it.

24. Did you have a c-section or natural?
natural. . but it should have been a c-section

25. What was your reaction to the birth?
I don't really know.. It wasn't that happy "OMG we just had a baby" thing. . because they took her straight to the table to start working on her because she wasn't doing so well. . I think her first APGAR was a 2. And they were calling in a surgeon to stitch me up because I had torn so badly and ruptured 2 arteries. . so I was bleeding really bad. So it was quite chaotic. After everything finally settled down I passed out. . I was so tired. I had been in labor for 35 hours, I couldn't even focus on what the dr was telling me. I slept for a while and when I woke up and really got to spend time with her it was amazing.

26. How big was the baby?
7lbs 11ozs (it is because I went to 7-11 almost every day when I was preggo.. .lol. . had to get my snacks for work)

27. What was the baby's full name?
Maddison Harlee

28. Did your husband cry?
I think so. . but I wasn't all there. . so I dunno. I know he had to leave because he was so upset. He thought that we were both going to die and it was too much for him to take, so yeah, I am sure he cried.

29. When is the next one coming?
Ha. . who knows. . At least 2 years

30. If you could, would you do it all over again?
Yes, it is totally worth all the mess and pain. I just hope next time things go a lot more smoothly. . or I have a c-section. . lol

Another Step down. . a few to go. .

2009-01-27T15:39:00.005-05:00

Brandon just told me that he passed the Pilot Aptitude Test!! He passed it by quite a bit and he didn't even study once! I am so proud! That is one more step finished in the process to submit his flying warrant officer package. Now he has to get his Associates (which he finishes his last 2 classes for that next week!), get his physicals done (he made the appointments today!), and get the rest of his paperwork in order. YAY! He should have the package submitted within the next month, and then we will have to play the waiting game. The results will not come out until December. Of course it is a long shot that he makes it, thousands apply every year and they only take something like 25 or so. But hey, you defiantly won't make it if you don't apply at all right? Just help us keep our fingers crossed. This would be so great for him and he deserves it so much!

Jennifer is doing a Happy Dance!!

Yummy. .

2009-01-26T12:11:00.003-05:00

I made my first homemade pizza last night!! I was so nervous about how it would turn out. (Mostly because the last time we attempted a pizza I was about 8, having a sleepover, and my mom decided it would be fun for us all to make a pizza. . good idea in theory. She bought a kit to do it, and in the end we ended up eating it with spoons because the dough never set.) But this time it turned out perfectly! I was so excited!! It took forever to make though, that was the only downfall. After you got the dough mixed, kneaded, and let it rise for an hour, cooked the sausage, formed the dough, put all the toppings on it and let it cook for about 30 minutes you are starving. . haha. It is so much easier to call Papa J's. But it was super yummy and we had fun making it, so I am sure I will attempt it again in the future! Next time we will experiment more with toppings. . we were keeping it simple this time since we didn't know how it would turn out. :]

A picture for your drooling pleasure. . lol

Even More Aggravating. . .

2009-01-24T09:55:00.002-05:00

This weekend is plotting against me. Yeah, I was pissed and stuff last night, but I eventually got over it. The night was wasted. . but after he finished his homework we ate dinner and then played some Wii games for a while before heading to bed. I just told myself "it is fine.. .we still have the whole weekend".

Brandon is on duty this weekend, my Navy wife friends understand how this works. He had watch yesterday (0800-1600) and was told that was the only one he would have this weekend! We were so excited because a watch that great never happens to us. We knew we had the rest of the weekend not worrying about working around a watch.

Anyway, they also have to muster every morning at 0800 when they are on duty. So he gets up this morning to go muster, Maddison was still sleeping, because it is all dark and rainy today, so I decided to go back to sleep as well. When I woke up at *cough* 9:00, Brandon still wasn't back yet, strange. They usually only take about 15 minutes. So I figure he got stuck having to clean something really quick. Then I check my phone to see if he called. . no, but I have a text message. "I am really sorry but I had to take a watch today, they had 2 people on leave that nobody knew about so I have to cover a watch today, either the 0800-1600 or the 1600-2400, I bumped a guy off of the 08-16 so I am currently standing that" "Oh and by the way, I have to stand an extra hour since I didn't find out until an hour after he had already been standing it, Love you".

WTF???? Why does this crap always happen to us? I finally think things are going smoothly and then something happens. So now today is pretty much shot as well. He won't get off watch until 1700 instead of 1600. .by the time he gets home it will pretty much be dinner time again and another day is shot! Not to mention I had told maddison I would make her pancakes this morning, but now I am not going to because I don't want to make pancakes for just me and her, and she is all upset. Geeze. . life. . come on. . cut me a little break. . pleease.

Again, sorry about another whiny post. . I am having a rough weekend.

Aggravating. . .

2009-01-23T18:32:00.003-05:00

First let me say I am so very proud of my husband for taking the initiative to get his college degree. He is doing so not only to better himself, but to provide for me and Maddison. I am so appreciative of that. . but, yes there is a but. It gets really aggravating when he waits until the very last minute to do his homework/quizzes/tests or whatever he has to do. He has 7 days to get the shit done and 95% of the time he waits until the day it is due to finish it. Then he is bitching and complaining about Maddison interrupting, or like today when we had plans for when he got home from work.. but NO! He didn't have a chance to take 2 quizzes this past week so he has to do those first. Well, it is almost 7 now and he just started on number 2. . so do you think we are going to be able to get out? NO!

I know I sound selfish and stupid. . I am aware of that. From the outside looking in I would be like "dumb bitch, he is working all week and going to school give him a break!". But our situation is different than that. In 2 months we will be apart for a year or longer. He works at least 5 days a week 12-16 hours a day. We have very limited time together as it is. Knowing this, and knowing that we have a looming deployment our time together is precious little. Having to use an entire Friday night to get homework done is devastating at this point. I know this post is incredibly whiny, but I just needed to vent before I had to go back into my room and cry. lol.

The only upside of all of this is next week he has finals in one class and the week after for the other and after that he will have is Associates finished!! Woo hoo! Now on to the Bachelor's. . BLAH. Maybe one day when he finishes I will be able to say that about myself. Patience is virtue.

It's fun..

2009-01-22T17:59:00.004-05:00

So I totally decided to start making Blogger layouts in addition to the myspace layouts I do. It is actually a lot more fun than the ones for mysapce because they don't have to have as many elements, i.e a contact table and such. I haven't exactly decided how I am going to start sharing them. . but I think I will just start a new blog so I can post them there and not clutter up my blog here. . . So the new blog will be [Married to the Navy Designs Blog] I only have 2 done as of now, but I will start adding others later!

Woo Hoo!

2009-01-18T22:11:00.002-05:00

I finally changed my blog background. . lol. My dear cousin Amanda asked me to make a banner for her awesome blog so it got me all in the spirit. We are just being bums tonight watching movies and what not so I decided to play around with it while I was doing nothing. I don't know if I am totally in love with it and when I added it to the page it cut off a few of the elements.. but oh well. Let me know what you think. Do you like it? Is it readable? Is it busy? Feed back is good. I don't know how long I will leave it as this.. but at least through Vday. . it is all lovey themed. . lol. Anyway, thanks for looking! I am about to get in my jammies and we are going to watch another movie. . it is a cold rainy night. . perfect for movies! Hope everyone is having a great weekend!

Brrrr. . .

2009-01-17T21:02:00.004-05:00

It is F*cking cold!!!! WTH?? It is not supposed to get this cold here. Freeze warning? Geeze. I haven't seen one of those since we lived in Virginia Beach. The weather people say it is the coldest temps they have seen in years. Blah.

And last night we had friends over to celebrate my bday, and we geniuses were hanging outside. We grilled out and then hung around the fire pit. It was fun. Thank goodness my dear friend Stumpy bought a handle of Captain in honor of my bday to keep us warm! lol. Bless him. Good friends, good times, indecent conversation. . my kind of evening. lol.

This morning my good friend Natalie was having a bday party for her eldest who was turning 4! It was a good time as well! It was a joint bday party so there were like 10 million kids there, but they had a good time. It was very chilly but they still played outside mostly, so that helped with the chaos. Maddison came home filthy and exhausted. . which in kid world translates as the best time ever! After a quick bath and a little convincing she crashed and took a 2 1/2 hour nap. Which is so very rare and so very welcome!

Thanks to MLK day Brandon has a 96 this weekend. . so he is off until Wednesday! Woo Hoo! So. . tomorrow we are going to go get some shopping done. . maybe one day head up to Charleston and sight see a little and maybe be bums on Tuesday. . who knows!

My plans for 2009

2009-01-14T21:27:00.004-05:00

As promised I will update you on my plans for the year.

Last Friday Brandon had quarters and the skipper gave them their "schedule" for the year. I will not be posting exact dates or destinations here in the blog due to OPSEC/PERSEC (operational security/personal security for you non military people. . lol). But I will give you a general idea.

Right now some of the squadron is gone on a boat det (again DET means detachement). Brandon got lucky and did not have to go. . he talked his supervisor into letting him stay here because he has finals next week. But he has to go on every upcoming DET they have.

Next month and well into the next they will be gone to a boat.

The will be here for a VERY short period of time and then will be going back out west to a place they go quite often for a DET.

They will again be home for a very short period of time before returning to the boat again for COMPTUEX to prepare for deployment. They will be on the boat then for over a month. To return here and begin the POM (Pre-operational Movement) leave period. They will then deploy in July to return after the start of the next year.

Sooo all that being stated I can begin with our plans. As some of you know we have been discussing me moving back to AL during this deployment so that we can try and save up some money to pay of debt etc. (I am only considering this because we will find out this Dec. if he made Warrant Officer, and if not we will be PCSing from here pretty soon after they get back from deployment anyway, so that is why I am willing to give up my house.) Anyway, the plan was for me to move back in June while Brandon was on POM leave. But now that we know that he is not going to be here pretty much at all starting next month, we have decided that I should go back in March instead. There will be a 2 week period that he will be here in March so we are going to use that time period to get our stuff moved into storage and get me moved back.

Sooo. . yay. I will be back in AL for a while. I think it will be really good for Maddison to get to be around family and stuff for a while. It is going to be really sad though. A normal deployment for us (which is hard enough as it is) is now going to turn into over a year. I will miss Brandon terribly and I don't want to even start to think about it right now. But I can't change the fact that he is leaving, and me leaving a few months early is not really going to hurt anything because he won't be here anyway. Hopefully this is something that will pay off for us in the long run.

There is just a lot of uncertainty that is still surrounding this whole thing. . for the ones of you that know about my mom's situation. . that is going to play a huge factor into what happens with us. . so I don't even know where I will be living. It is kinda scary. But whatever. I know I can always come back here if I have to. .lol.

Sometimes the uncertainty that comes along with being a military wife is too much to take. I have been so stressed out the past week or so. We are in final countdown mode again and I don't like it. That deployment day will be here before I know it and I am dreading it with all of my heart already. We knew it was coming, but that still doesn't make it any easier. Pretty much I have the rest of this month left with my hubby and after that I won't have a whole month with him again until well into 2010. :[

Anyway, those are the plans. .things around here have been changed a lot because of all of this. I was not able to get Maddison started in ballet due to the fact that we won't be here for more that 2 more months. . so we will figure that out in AL. And there are a few friends around here that I am going to be so sad to leave. That is another thing that stinks about this life. Making amazing friends and then having to say goodbye to them.

Well, I am making myself very sad about all of this so I am going to stop writing about it now. But I am sure I will have much more to say about it in the coming weeks/months.

Happy Birthday to me. . Happy Birthday to me..

2009-01-13T19:29:00.002-05:00

Happy Birthday dear meeeeeee. . .Happy Birthday to me!

Lol, I just thought I would sing that to myself in key. Since Ashley sang it out of key and Amanda is a meanie. LOL J/K guys.

Well, I am one year older and one year wiser (hopefully) today. The ironic thing is that I feel (and act) so much older than I really am. Oh well. It is so funny how after you have kids your birthday stops meaning anything. It is just another day. I had a pretty good day though. We slept a little late because it was raining and yucky this morning. Then, we got up, showered and got dressed and went out to lunch. Nothing special, but it was nice. Brandon made me a "cake" out of chocolate chip cookies (I don't like cake), so that was really sweet. Other than that is was just an ordinary day. I tried to get Brandon go to work and act sick so that he could come home early since it is my bday and all, but he says he can't. So oh well. He said he would try and see if he can come in after flight schedule, but I am not holding my breath. . ha ha.

I think maybe we will celebrate more this weekend. I know Friday night we are going out to dinner and I am going shopping, I have a few gift cards and such to spend. And maybe, if I can get Maddison into childcare Sat. night, some friends of ours and us may go out. Who knows? We will have to wait and see.

But thank you to everyone that called, wrote, mailed cards, and harassed me today! I really appreciate you thinking of me!!

I have an important update about my living situation as well, but I will post that tomorrow because I need to go fix some dinner. So check back!

Our Trip to Bama (Sorry it is so long. . lol)

2009-01-07T11:09:00.005-05:00

Well, it has been a while since I have been able to sit down and blog. It has been a crazy busy month. We just got back in from Alabama last night. We had a good trip. We didn't get to do everything that we wanted to do or see everyone that we wanted to see, but we never get to accomplish all of that. . which sucks.

We decided before we got there this time that we were going to take a more relaxed approach to things and just do what happened. . and it sort of worked. It just gets so frustrating when certain people are calling constantly asking if we are going to go see so and so or when we are coming by there. DAMN!! We will get there when we do. It pisses me off that we drive 8 hours to be there. . we are only there for a very limited time. . but people can't seem to try and accommodate us. It would help out tremendously if people would all meet at one location so we can see everyone at once rather than us having to drive all around 2 counties trying to see them. Then they get pissy if we don't get to make it there, or if we only get to spend a short period of time there. Oh well.. that is my rant. But things will be changing in the future. . we have decided. . if they can't make the time to meet us in the middle on things then we will not make time to go spend time with them. And this whole childish "well are you gonna go see so and so or you never come see us" thing is just over. LOL. Anyway. . ha ha most of you know who I am talking about.

Back to the topic. . our trip was good.
**The night we got there Brandon had booked us a room at the new Westin at Bridge Street. It was so freaking nice. It was only like 20 yards from all of the cool restaurants like Ketchup, Dolce, PF Chang. . and so on. . so we had a great pick of where to eat. We got slightly buzzed and walked around Bridge Street for a while and then headed back to our very nice hotel room. Great to have a night away from the kiddo. . then we got up early the next morning and ate at Cracker Barrel. . lol.
**New Year's Eve was just pretty much another day. Mom wanted us to come out and party with them, but we didn't have a baby sitter so we chose to stay in. We hung out with Kristin and Josh and played the Wii most of the night. It was pretty fun. Nothing wild and crazy. Mom came in completely wasted. . knocking over lamps and spilling drinks everywhere.. then she got a little out of hand and I almost punched her out. . so my stepdad made her go to bed. . but that is a story for another day. lol
**New Year's day was fun. We kind of just chilled out that morning and took our time getting ready, then we decided to go see Nanny. When we got out there she was cooking and about to go over to my favorite Aunt's house. So we crashed their party. lol. 2 of my cousins and their families were there. . so we got to see them too. Maddison had a blast. . so many people to play with. We ended up eating (black eyed peas, pig, and greens of course. . lol) and then sitting at the table and talking until like 2am. . ha ha. . I am sure they were glad to see us go. But it was a lot of fun.
**We spent all day Saturday and Sunday out at Nanny's house getting lots of things done for her. I knew she has a to do list a million miles long and she isn't able to do most of the stuff on it herself. . so while I had Brandon with me I wanted to get out there and get them done for her. My mom, stepdad, aunt and uncle also came and helped out tremendously. We didn't get as much done as I had hoped but we got the main things done. We organized her entire garage, organized and deep cleaned the entire kitchen, and moved my little brother out. (FINALLY!!) They guys got the yard raked, 3 motion lights hung outside, her garden lights installed, her door locks changed so the brother can't get back in, and lots of other little things done. She was so grateful, but I am just so happy that we got some of it done for her. . there are a few other things that still need to be done, but mom says she is going to go do them as she can.
**The rest of the trip was good. Unfortunately Brandon's grandmother got put in the hospital right after we got there, after a few misdiagnoses they finally figured out she needed her gallbladder removed. She is home now and seems to be doing great.

I think that is about all of the highlights of the trip. . lol. Maddison got tons more Christmas presents. . yay. . ha ha.

It is good to be home, but I do miss everyone. I hate that we can't see them more often. I am not feeling very well today. . I seriously hope I am not getting sick. I wasn't feeling well on the trip home yesterday either. . I even took a nap in the car which is not like me at all. Last night was awful. . I didn't sleep hardly any. But I don't have time to get sick. . lol. I have to unpack today and then start getting all of this Christmas down!! I don't want to look at it anymore!!! And my hubby is not going to be able to help with any of it! GRRRR!! He has to work all day today and then he has watch tonight from 2400-0800. Then he will have to work again tomorrow. .because his lovely LPO is not allowing comp time. . nice. Anyway that is a rant for another day.

Merry Christmas!!!

2008-12-24T17:02:00.002-05:00

Well, my Christmas is getting better organized, thank the lord. I have gotten everything finished or figured out. All the gifts are bought, and wrapped!! Most are under the tree. (The only ones that aren't are the ones that Santa is bringing tonight.) I got a lot of cooking done today. The rest will be finished tomorrow (Just finger foods). I am excited, and relaxed which is nice. Christmas used to be so hectic when we went back to Alabama. It was rush rush rush, we had 3 places to be on Christmas Eve and count them, 5, places to be on Christmas day. Needless to say we were always exhausted which in turn made us pissy. . and we usually spent the day arguing. Last year we decided that we were not going to take the first leave period so we would just stay here for Christmas. It was so nice. Christmas Eve we spent at the beach, and Christmas morning we got up and let Maddie open and play with her toys, while I cooked Christmas dinner. Then we had friends over and we just ate, hung out, and relaxed. It is going to be pretty much the same this year. Today I got all of the food that could be made in advance finished. . we got the house cleaned really well, and now we are relaxing. We are going to go bake cookies for Santa in a few minutes and then after that we will chill out, maybe play a little Wii. Tomorrow should be nice as well. Maddison can do as she wishes and we will have finger foods all day and we have told our friends that they can come and go as they please. . nothing formal.

My dad will be here around the 27th, so we will spend a couple of days with them and then on the 30th we are off to Bama to see everyone else. This should be a good holiday!

I hope everyone has a wonderful Christmas!!!!

My disorganized Christmas. . .

2008-12-21T10:59:00.002-05:00

I feel like I am so behind this year. I still haven't finished all of my shopping. I am almost finished, but I need to get my sisters gift. . which I think will just be a gift card, because I have no idea what else to get her. I think we have enough stuff for Maddie, I am going to drag it all out tonight after she goes to sleep and start wrapping and seeing what all we have. Hopefully it is enough and we won't have to get anything else. I still do need to get a few stocking stuffers though. This is the first year that I have not sent out Christmas cards. I usually have them made by around thanksgiving and then have them sent out the first week of December, but it has been so crazy this year that I have not had a chance. So, sorry guys, no cards this year. lol.

I had the perfect gift idea for my friends, but I went to Michael's yesterday to get the stuff to make them, and they didn't have half the crap I needed. . grr. . i should have gotten it at Hobby Lobby when I had the chance. . but no. . I couldn't make up my mind then. So blah. Everyone's stuff is going to be late. . lol. . I am just going to extend the holiday for everyone this year.

This year, I ordered most everyone's gifts from my Cafepress Shop. Not only because we were on a budget, but I like giving people personalized gifts. But to top it off. . I am not finished yet.. lol. . I still have a calendar, a framed print, and a mousepad to make. Hopefully I will be able to finish those tonight and get them ordered. I dunno when they will get here. I ordered some stuff last week and had it shipped to my mom's house. . and it got there 2 days after I ordered it and I used the economy shipping. So maybe it will get here quickly. If not, oh well, ha ha.

Today we have to go to the commissary also, and I haven't decided what we are going to do for Christmas yet. I usually do dinner here on Christmas day, and invite our friends that didn't go out of town, and the single guys from the squadron. But I was thinking this year that instead of dinner I would do a "finger food buffet" type of thing on Christmas Eve. Kind of like we used to do every year at my dear Aunt Margret's house for as long as I can remember. I dunno, and I still haven't even really talked to any of our friends about it yet.. lol. So we may have nobody this year. GRR. . I hate being so unorganized. My month has just taken a lot of turns that I did not expect it to take. But even though it has been crazy busy, it has been a lot of fun too.

Oh yeah, Brandon is home from Fallon now, he got home Friday night. It is good to have him back, even though he was only gone for 3 weeks. . lol.

Anyway, I know this is a lot of rambling, I am just having a lot of scattered thoughts about all the stuff I have to do, and writing about it is helping me organize my thoughts. But now, I need to get off here and head to the commissary, and do some more running around. Hope everyone else is having a better organized Christmas than I am. . lol.

Ho, Ho, Hoe

2008-11-23T21:53:00.002-05:00

So Friday night was the command Christmas party. It was okay. . nice to get out and go to an "adult" function without kids! There was food, (which was good, but cold) dancing (which at some points was very entertaining. . lol), door prizes (which seemed to be rigged.. of course), awards ceremony (which was mostly BS), and lots of drunken sailors (which was friggin hilarious for the most part).

Brandon's former LPO was drunk off his ass and hitting on me all night. . trying to get me to "go home with him", which is hilarious in itself considering that he lives in the barracks. He is married and his wife lives in a different state, lol. He is not the kind of person that would ever cheat on his wife, so that is what made it all okay and funny. I played along for a while and then it just got annoying. . so we convinced him to go find another chick. We told the photographer to follow him around because we knew he would end up doing something stupid. By the end of the night he had his picture taken with most every woman there and every single one of them was trying to run away in the pic. . lol. . he called one of the female senior cheif's a lezbo to her face. .and almost got punched out by one of our other friends. . fun times!

I walked out the door and forgot my camera. . which sucks. . but the command had hired a photographer to walk around all night. . so if they ever get the pics posted on their website I will share some. There are quite a few hilarious ones that he showed me throughout the night. . (some including my dumb hubby).

The skipper did not hand out promotions or mention them at all. . so we are not sure what is going on with that. .I guess we will just have to wait and see. Hopefully he will do them.

We decided to blow the joint about an hour early because most ppl were heading out anyway to go to after parties.. we had to go pick up the kid from the cdc so we couldn't go anywhere else. We did win a Poinsettia and a game of golf for 2, so that was cool. . but as we were about to leave an officer walked up and just took my poinsettia off the table right in front of me and walked off with it. Brandon had to chase him down and tell him to give it back. . and he didn't want to. I thought I was about to have to go psycho bitch on an O. Luckily he finally relented and gave it back. . dumbass.

All in all the night was good. . it was decorated lovely and held at the newest hotel in town. . everyone had a good time. . even though I am sure some didn't remember it the next day!

Where has the time gone??

2008-11-17T14:19:00.004-05:00

I was cleaning out some old pics and stuff from my photo hosting site that I use when I stumbled across 3 videos that I had taken of Maddison when she was 8 and 9 months old! I sat here and bawled like a baby when I watched them. One is of her taking some of her first steps. You can see it HERE. She is so little!! Then one is of her in her little Asian dress that we had just gotten in the mail that day from daddy. He picked it up for her while he was in Korea. See HERE. And the last one is just of her sitting in her highchair eating. Nothing special, but I am so glad I got it on video now. You forget how cute they are when they are doing something as simple as eating. It is not all that cute at the time because you are so tired, busy, etc. . so you just don't really appreciate it as much. See it HERE.

I just thought I would share. I am in amazement to this day that this little girl is actually mine and what an amazing kid she really is. I just cannot believe how fast the years are flying by. You hear it all your life from older people, but it really is true. I blinked and now she is 3.

Happy Veteran's Day!!

2008-11-11T10:35:00.002-05:00

I just wanted to take a quick moment to wish everyone a Happy Veteran's Day and to say Thank You.

Thank you to all of our former, current,and future servicemembers. Thank you for your sacrifices. Thank you for your bravery. Thank you. I am so very honored to be associated with such a wonderful and amazing group of individuals. It has been life changing and eye opening and I am forever grateful. I love you all so very much!

Simply Breathtaking. . .

2008-11-10T16:08:00.020-05:00

Brandon and I took Maddie to see Disney's Mickey & Minnie's Amazing Journey on Ice Saturday night down in Savannah. It was amazing. We have been to several of these shows, but this was by far the absolute best! The skating was phenomenal. The story was great. The transitions between acts were seamless. The costumes just amazing. Special effects were over the top.

It starts as Mickey, Minnie, Donald, Daisy, & Goofy decide to take a vacation.

They travel to Africa. (This is the Lion King Scene) Here are a few photos.

After leaving africa they take a trip to the bottom of the sea. (The Little Mermaid) This was Maddison's absolute favorite part! She was literally trembling with excitement as Aerial came out! It was so worth the money for the tickets!!!

Next they went to Hawaii. (Lilo and Stitch)
This was really cute as well!

Next we are off to London to Visit Peter Pan! This was so great! Maddison freaked over Tinker Bell. And they all actually flew!

And for the Final Act everyone came out and did a couple of songs! I highly recommend this show to anyone! I hope that we get a chance to see it again one day. We all 3 thoroughly enjoyed ourselves!!

I do Love my Country.

2008-11-05T14:54:00.003-05:00

I love this country so much it hurts. I am so blessed to be born into such a wonderful place. A place of freedoms and opportunities. A place of free speech which I am about to exercise. If you don't like my opinion that is fine with me. You are entitled to your own, which is another great thing about this place. So here goes. .

Yesterday Barack Obama was elected the first black president of the United States of America. I think it is so wonderful that America was able to prove that you don't have to be born a millionaire, a white male, or to a political family to become the leader of this great nation. But, I think that we chose the wrong man to break that stereotype. I am disappointed in the American voters. For the ones that went out with an informed decision on their candidate, kudos to you. But for the rest of the millions that did not, I am so very worried for you. I would be gracious and concede victory if I felt like America made this huge decision with an informed mind. But that is not the case. I am devastated. Not because McCain lost, but because this country has gone to shit. When you have interviews proving that people are voting not on issues, but on race, we have a problem.

THIS POST says pretty much exactly how I feel. . so I am not going to retype it.

Anyway, I could go on for days about this. But I am choosing not to. The people I am closest to know how I feel, and 99% of them feel exactly the same way. I just felt like I should share, and say . . IT IS NOT MY FAULT!!!!!

Wooo Hoooo!!!!

2008-11-04T15:29:00.002-05:00

I found out last night that they are REALLY putting Brandon on days!!! yay! He will start this coming Monday. This will be the first time in like 4 years that he has been on days! It is going to be a huge adjustment for us since it has been so long, but I am up for the challenge. I am really hoping that this will help me get Maddison into a better bedtime routine. Lord knows she needs it! I am just really excited. And I guess if for some reason it doesn't work out that we like it, then he can get switched back, because the higher ups are not happy that he is getting changed anyway. . lol. They don't like working with the guy that he is switching with. Anyway, yay good news for us. I am just going to have to reschedule my days now, which is going to be interesting. It sucks that they waited this long to do it though. Because he will be leaving right after Thanksgiving to go on DET until just a few days before Christmas. And then in January they go out to sea for a while. . and they have a DET scheduled for every month after that until deployment in July. Hopefully he won't have to go on all of them.. but I am not holding my breath. He always has to go. The Navy hates us for some reason. . lol.

I am also biting my fingernails about this election today. I am concerned. I was very confident that Bush would be reelected and he was.. . but I am not feeling so confident this time. There are too many people out there not making very informed decisions and voting on race and not the issues. Well, there is nothing more I can do. I voted. I have campaigned the best I can, now I sit back and wait. Lets hope the country makes the right decision so 4 years from now others are not regretting theirs. But in the mean time I will be glued to the TV this afternoon as polls start closing!! And if you read this and have not.. . . GO VOTE!!!! It doesn't matter what you believe or who you are voting for, just get out there and exercise your right! If you don't. . . don't bitch for the next 4 years!

Say Bye Bye. . .

2008-11-02T21:49:00.004-05:00

To the Working white uniform. . lol. Brandon had watch tonight from 1600-2400, which is the last watch of the day. Tonight at midnight they switch over to the winter blue uniforms. Which means that he is officially the last person in the command to wear the summer white. Next year it will be decommissioned. They are getting rid of that uniform, the working blue, and the utilities. These 3 uniforms will be replaced by 2 new ones. The dress whites are also getting a makeover and will look different by 2010. I dunno, being all nostalgic I thought I would post pics of him and Maddie in his whites for the last time ha ha. . yeah I'm a dork.

Been a while. .

2008-10-26T22:34:00.004-04:00

Since I blogged. . so I guess I need to update.

Life is pretty much the same around here I reckon. Just busy doing the daily grind. Last weekend we went to the fall festival and Maddison had a ton of fun. I took a million pictures and when I put the memory card into the computer it froze up and somehow deleted all of my pictures. I was sick. So now there are no pics to share. Sorry. But I will make sure to get a ton on Halloween. She has decided this year that she is going to be a "girl pirate" lol. Because "boy pirates are scary". She is going to be adorable. I can't wait. It is very exciting that Brandon will be home this year.

Speaking of Brandon. He had a CDB (Career Development Board) meeting this past week to discuss his future in the navy. I am very proud to announce that his Senior Chief is very pleased with him and the progress he has made while enlisted. And he stated that he does not want to see him on the enlisted side of the Navy for much longer. Brandon was educated on a program that will allow him to become a Warrant Officer with only an associates degree. He will be finishing his associates probably in February, soooo as soon as that is finished he is going to put in his pack for the Flying Warrant Officer program. So hopefully this time next year we will be finding out if he has made the cut!! He will be able to be a pilot and everything. He would be a commissioned officer with certain restrictions. While on that duty he could finish his bachelors and get his commission with no restrictions. This is a much faster path to becoming an officer than waiting to finish his degree the old fashioned way. So keep your fingers crossed that this works out for us. Not only would it be a great career advancement for him it would also mean a huge pay raise! lol. If for some reason this program doesn't work out for us, there are a couple of other programs that he is also going to try to pursue. And we are still waiting on the results of the exam he took back in September to see if he makes E-6. We should find out the results of that in about 2-3 weeks. So we are keeping our fingers crossed about that too, even though it is sort of a long shot. He is more than qualified and has an amazing evaluation which helps a lot, but he hasn't been in the military as long as many of the other people that are up for the same promotion so that can hurt him. But anyway I will update on the yes or no whenever we get the info.

Anyway, I guess that is about it for now. My Cafepress shop is doing pretty well. I am not making the killing that I would love to be making, lol. But I am making enough that it will buy the monthly groceries and that is a start. I am going to give it more time and energy and hopefully I will be rewarded in the future.

Well, off to bed. Hope everyone is doing well. Also I am starting an album on a photo sharing site that I use, to share all the photos I take with the family. I haven't had a lot of time to get all of the photos uploaded yet, but just as soon as I do I will email everyone and let them know the website and password and stuff. If you want to be included in that email just leave me a comment here and I will make sure to send it to you.

Today is a day to reflect and remember. . .

2008-09-11T20:02:00.005-04:00

You're sad because your plan's got canceled with you're friends.
He knows he may not see some of his buddies again.

You walk down the beach, staring at all the pretty girls.
He patrols the streets, searching for insurgents and terrorists.

..

You complain about how hot it is.
He wears his heavy gear, not daring to take off his helmet to wipe his brow.

You go out to lunch, and complain because the restaurant got your order wrong.
He doesn't get to eat today.

Your maid makes your bed and washes your clothes.
He wears the same things for weeks, but makes sure his weapons are clean.

You go to the mall and get your hair redone.
He doesn't have time to brush his teeth today.

You're angry because your class ran 5 minutes over.
He's told he will be held over an extra 2 months.

You call your girlfriend and set a date for tonight.
He waits for the mail to see if there is a letter from home.

You hug and kiss your girlfriend, like you do everyday.
He holds his letter close and smells his love's perfume.

You roll your eyes as a baby cries.
He gets a letter with pictures of his new child, and wonders if they'll ever meet.

You criticize your government, and say that war never solves anything.
He sees the innocent tortured and killed by their own people and remembers why he is fighting.

You hear the jokes about the war, and make fun of men like him.
He hears the gunfire, bombs and screams of the wounded.

You see only what the media wants you to see.
He sees the broken bodies lying around him.

You are asked to go to the store by your parents. You don't.
He does exactly what he is told even if it puts his life in danger.

You stay at home and watch TV.
He takes whatever time he is given to call, write home, sleep, and eat.

This is for the Soldiers, Marines, Sailors, Airmen, and Coasties supporting us

We are here supporting you.

Waiting for your safe return.

Birthday Party Pics (& More)

2008-09-08T18:30:00.008-04:00

Yeah, I know there are a lot of them. . sue me. . haha. This isn't even all of them. Enjoy! (Just go to the links to view. . I took the slideshows down because they were slowing my blog down too much!)

Part 1

Part 2

So obviously. .

2008-09-07T23:21:00.002-04:00

we didn't get blown away by the storm. . lol. Actually it was a joke. They hyped it up all week. . . talking about evacs and shutters. . closing schools and the base. IT BARELY STORMED!!!! It rained for most of the day, but the wind never got over about 20mph. I was quite disappointed. Oh well though, and IKE is not headed our way, so no worries there. Guess we will just have to wait and see if there is a next one.

And I will post pics of maddison's bday party as soon as I can.. My SIL is sending me some, since I didn't have my camera handy that day. But they are coming.

New Update

2008-09-05T11:59:00.002-04:00

The track of this storm has changed a million times this week, as of the 11am track they have it making landfall around myrtle beach again, but there is still some uncertainty. We are under a Tropical Storm Warning. All schools and gov't offices are closed today, and the EMS is encouraging people to stay home and close all other businesses early. I honestly don't think that it will be too bad here, but we will wait and see I guess. The winds are starting to pick up, and the first outer rain band is supposed to come through in about an hour. High tide is supposed to be at 2pm so I think if it is not storming too bad we are going to go down to the river and see if the seawall has been breached. I will take pics if it looks cool. lol. Right now the base has been put on alert for Hurricane Ike. There is a lot of uncertainty as to what that storm is going to do right now and they are kind of freaking out around here about it. But again, we will wait it out and see what happens. . lol. I was kind of hoping we were going to have to evac, just so we would have an excuse to go back to bama for a couple of days, but oh well, ha ha. Our power tends to go out quite easily, so if I still have power later tonight I will post another update.

Update

2008-09-03T14:17:00.001-04:00

As of now the storm track has changed to make landfall a little north of us. . around myrtle beach I think. The local EMS says that as of now there will be no evacuations for our area, but to keep monitoring the situation. The big wigs along with the military had a conference at 1pm and decided that as of now we will not evacuate on Thursday and all schools and gov't offices will remain open. If anything thing changes I will update.

The Calm Before the Storm

2008-09-02T22:03:00.002-04:00

Well, looks like we might be having a hurricane here in a few days. We have been put on alert and will find out tomorrow if we will have to evacuate. The squadron made everyone fill out a evac form today with their destination and everything. The city has placed us on alert, saying that we will have more answers tomorrow.

This is kind of interesting. We experienced a Cat 1 when we lived in Va Beach, it was no biggy, but we have never been placed on alert for evacuation before. My MIL and FIL are in town visiting right now also. They had planned on leaving Thurs. but have now decided to leave tomorrow morning, just in case we have to evac on Thurs. They want to miss the rush, and I don't blame them. We went to Lowes tonight to get a few supplies, and it was BUSY. Lots and lots of plywood being bought. Base housing placed their alert on our website today. . and the base went from Hurricane CON 5 to CON 4 today. So things are looking like we might just be getting the heck out of dodge. I read a report earlier today that said they are expecting this to be a major hurricane when it makes landfall. So we will see how things go.

Just thought I would inform everyone of what is going on. . if we do have to evac more than likely we will be returning to AL and a couple of our friends are coming with us because their hometowns are outside of the distance we are allowed to travel. I will post more as I know what is going on.

No, I have not fallen off the face of the Earth. .

2008-08-13T23:17:00.003-04:00

Sorry for not updating, I have just been terribly busy lately. So here we go. . lol

Most of my down time has been spent working on my Cafepress shop, I have completely redesigned the shop and added lots of new products. I have spent countless hours reading tutorials and trying to figure out the basics of this web design stuff, and I have learned quite a lot. It gets to be mind numbing though. I am finally getting to a place where I am feeling comfortable with the feel of the shop. . there are still a few more tweaks I need to make and the only big thing left is to make a page with a custom order form. A friend of mine said her husband may possibly help me, so that would be wonderful, and a huge time saver. I have also started a myspace site for the shop, and in this site I am offering layouts, graphic snags, icons, and photo edits. This is fun and I enjoy doing it, and it is an alternative to scrapbooking, since I can't seem to even try to do that because I can't keep Maddison out of it for more than 2 seconds. This is serving as my creative outlet right now, and it is very helpful. The main reason I decided to do the myspace site though is to help generate more traffic to my store, and so far it is working.

Okay now about the family. .

We (meaning I) are getting things in place for Maddie Lou's 3rd birthday. Can you believe that she is almost 3? Because I sure can't! Everyday I look at her and think. . geeze is this my baby? We are having a Mermaid Party and she is so excited she can't stand it. She has been asking about it for months now. We have decided to move the party up to Labor Day weekend because everyone just contacted us and said they wanted to come visit that weekend, lol. My sis and bro in law will be here, and my MIL, my mom, stepdad, nanny, and sister are also coming. . and one of my girlfriends from highschool and her boyfriend are coming. I am so super excited! Hopefully most of maddison's friends will be able to come, but I know a lot of them have stuff going on that weekend which is one reason why we were going to have it the next. But this is going to work out best for the family thing. I am just still having to deal with that fact that my baby is turning 3.

My dad was diagnosed with prostate cancer a few months ago, he had surgery to have it removed back in May and it was not successful. So they referred him to Vandy and he had his surgery this past monday. They were able to successfully remove it. Which is great great news. Now we are just waiting on the pathology report to determine if it has spread anywhere else, and it will be a little while before we know if he is totally out of the woods. So keep him in your prayers (or whatever you do).

My mom, is about to have a hysterectomy. She has been diagnosed with endometriosis, as well as several fibroids, cysts, and pallops on one of her ovaries. She underwent a DNC last week and is awaiting test results to move forward with the hysterectomy. So keep her in your thoughts and prayers too.

Yeah, my parents are falling apart. lol.

Brandon is doing great, he is home for a while, well at least until the end of November. He is also studying for his advancement exam right now. He will be taking the E-6 exam the first week of September. So wish him luck. If he makes it, he will have made E-6 in less than 5 years, which is a great feat. Because he has been in for only 5 years, that could come back to bite him in the butt though, it could hurt his advancement chances. But we will just wait and see. That pay raise would be really nice! lol. He will be taking a week or so of leave starting this weekend, which will be so nice. I wish we could go back to bama for a few days, but there is no way we can with gas prices what they are, and us having to spend money on this birthday party. But I am looking forward to just getting to have some here time with him. We will spend some days at the beach, and getting little projects done around the house that we keep putting off, and maybe spend a day in Charleston, and a day in Savannah. We just need a change from the daily grind around here.

Well, I guess I am all caught up for now. I will try and keep this thing more up to date from now on!

{Designs by: Married to the Navy Designs Add our myspace by clicking them to get your own}

My eyes are still crossed.

2008-07-15T10:41:00.002-04:00

I tend to think of myself as a fairly intelligent person, not the smartest in the world, but I can hold my own. But web design is kicking my ass. Not even really "web design" I don't think there is any way that I could ever go that in depth. I am simply just trying to make a myspace layout using CSS for the shop's myspace page and use HTML to customize my shop. I have all of the basics down, but the fine tuning is killing me. I have all these great ideas in my head that I just can't seem to get onto the screen. I stared at a computer screen all day yesterday, reading tutorials, looking at examples, trying to find a good code generator so I could cheat (lol). And at 0100 I finally called it quits. I did get the myspace layout finished. . sort of. I still have A LOT to do before I can open it to the public, but it is on the way. The thing that discourages me is that there are a million people out there that make layouts, so why is it so difficult for me? I am sure the more I practice the easier it will become, but right now if I look at another line of html or css code I might go crazy and smash my computer. I don't know how computer programmers and IT guys do that every day. Kudos to them. But today I am taking the day off. No new designs for the store, not changing anything, not working on the myspace. I am going to clean my house, maybe go to the commissary, and play with my little girl since I totally ignored her yesterday. Wish me luck.

Hotdogs, Fireworks, and Tissues

2008-07-07T10:53:00.004-04:00

Well, I haven't blogged in a while. I have been really busy, so there is a lot to catch up on.

First off, we had a great 4th of July. We had a cookout here at the house and invited our friends over. A lot of them weren't able to make it, but we had a good time with the ones that could. My husband's command was being stupid and made a lot of the guys work that day, so they missed out. But we did take some of them food. After the cookout, us and Nicole and her family went to Parris Island to watch the fireworks. It was really nice, perfect night. I think the show was shorter than it was last year. Although I was a little preoccupied last year, Brandon was leaving for deployment the next morning. Mom and them were going to try to come this year for the 4th, but turned out they weren't able to. It sucked, and they would've had fun because it turned out there were as many people their age here as ours. ha ha. But all in all it was a great night!!

Well, one of the things about being a military wife is having to learn how to make a great friend and then turn around and tell them bye. It SUCKS. I have lost 2 great friends in the last 2 months or so. Sandi left unexpectedly, so I didn't really have a chance to prepare myself for that. It was very sad and I hate that she is gone, but I know she is having a better time back home than she was here. On the other hand, I had time to prepare for Ashley leaving, and I think that may have been harder. We just kept pretending like she wasn't going to go. ha ha. But then time crept up and all of a sudden we were loading a moving truck. It is so hard to stand there and watch a person who you have known for so little time, but feel like you have known forever drive away in a Budget truck. They are doing what is best for them also. Her hubby is getting out of the military and starting his own company. I wish them the best. I know things will work out great for them. Another friend of mine, Nicole, will be leaving soon also. We haven't known each other very long, we met through another friend and at mom's morning, but I think if we would have met sooner we would be best friends now too. We seem to have a lot in common, and I really like being around her. And our kids get along great too! lol. I am sad that she is leaving and we won't have the chance to get to know each other even better. I wish them the best in their next adventure as well. Many of us wives have talked about this before, it is so hard to make a friend knowing that in a few months or a year you might never see that person again, but then again it is amazing, that we can say we have all of these great friends from all over the world that we will always have one common bond with and that is the military. Even if they are getting out, or just changing duty stations, they will always be a part of the huge military wives family. Anyway, enough sadness. lol

Well, I am sure there is much more to write about, but it will have to wait for another day. My child is begging for my attention and I have to get stuff together to ship Brandon off. Only for a few weeks this time though.

Hey you people!

2008-06-26T20:25:00.002-04:00

Any of you lovely people that read this blog (bless your hearts) should take a few seconds out of your busy day and help a sister out . . lol. I am not asking for a kidney or anything but you could go to this website and rank my Cafepress shop! All you have to do is click on however many stars (5 preferably. . lol) you would like to give me and leave you HONEST comment on how you like my stuff. That's it, that's all I need. . didn't hurt much did it? lol. Thanks guys! I appreciate it!

http://bestcafeshops.com/index.php?a=stats&u=jenafur1308

Check out my newest stuff!!

2008-06-18T15:42:00.001-04:00

I have added some new designs to the shop so check them out!

Also, order your 4th of July shirts by June 23rd to get them here by the 4th using standard shipping after that day you will have to upgrade shipping.

If you would like a custom 4th of July shirt please let me know by the 22nd and I can make it for you. If you have an idea of what you want email me and let me know and I can make it for you. You can find my email address on the homepage of my shop.

Here are a few examples of the new stuff.

4th of July items

Other new designs

Also Available with pink letters and blue letters

Check out the shop!!

Thanks guys!!

EWW Gross!!

2008-06-11T18:12:00.003-04:00

So today has been a fun day. Let me start by saying what has been happening the past couple of days. . . Monday evening Maddison had crawled up in my lap and I realized she smelled horrible, I mean horrible. It was time for her bath anyway so I got her ready, put her in the tub and scrubbed the crap out of her. Then I got her ready for bed and she was cranky so I decided to let her lay on the couch and go to sleep. When Brandon got home from work he picked her up to take her to bed and he said she smelled bad. I was like "WTF I just gave her a bath?" So I smelled her and sure enough the smell was back. I started sniffing her all over and realized that it was her face and hands that smelled so bad. So I made Brandon wake her up and take her to the bathroom and wash them really good again. Then we all went to bed. Well yesterday I didn't notice it again, and we spent all day outside with her playing in the pool, when we came in she was exhausted so I put her down for a nap. When she woke up she wanted me to hold her for a little while and when I picked her up I realized she stunk again. Now I am starting to really wonder what the problem is. I decided to hold off on the bath because it was only a few hours before bath time anyway. Well, again I scrubbed her until she was pretty much raw. .washed her hair twice, made sure every nook and cranny was spotless and I got her out and took her to her room to put her jammies on. While I was doing this I started smelling it AGAIN. Now I am like going crazy trying to figure out what it is, so I smelled her entire face inch by inch and realized it was coming from the mouth/nose area. So I took her in the bathroom and brushed her teeth like crazy and sniffed again. . still there. Then I made her blow her nose and I smelled the tissue. . I almost gagged. . it was sooooo nasty. . it smelled like something dead and rotting. EW. So I called mom and was like WTH?? What is this, and she says "Sounds like she has shoved something up her nose!" OMG, are you kidding me. So first thing this morning I call and get her in to see the doctor. . she looks and can't see anything (oh yeah, the smell had stopped too. . and in my panic last night trying to figure out what it was I gave her Little Noses) but she was concerned that it could be deeper in the sinus so she wanted to refer us the see an ENT and have a scope done. So off we go there. . and luckily the ENT said that there was nothing there anymore, but it was a little irritated like something had been there, and by the smell I described it was probably some kind of food. He said possibly when I gave her the little noses she sucked it on down and now it is in her stomach. . EWWWWWWWWWWW. That is so nasty. But he said everything looked fine and she was a healthy little girl. . so that is good news. But it has been and interesting day, and we had a serious talk about sticking things up our nose. . LOL.

Happy Memorial Day!

2008-05-26T19:20:00.005-04:00

Hope everyone is having a great memorial day and enjoying time off work. We are busy getting the house cleaned and getting ready to head to bama tomorrow for a couple of days to see our new niece *Sophie Claire* who was born on Friday, and to see my dad who is recovering from prostate surgery. Unfortunately, his surgery was not effective and he has a consult at Vanderbilt in June to see if they can operate. *keep him in your thoughts*

After 2 days in bama we are heading to Gatlinburg with my mom, nanny, and 2 aunts and uncles. It should be fun. We need some time away.

In other news, Brandon got his tat today. I really love it, it turned out great.

Sophie Claire 7lbs 15oz 21in

My Lovely Customers

2008-05-19T21:18:00.005-04:00

These are all of the places that I have received orders from in my CafePress Shop. I am international!! lol I just thought it would be fun to keep track and see if I eventually get all 50 states. . we will see. :]

Fun Night for the Kiddo

2008-05-17T11:58:00.002-04:00

Last night we got to take Maddie Lou to see Sesame Street Live! She had a great time. She is still talking about, Elmo and Zoey and Cookie Monster and Big Bird and Bert and Ernie and Grover and Oscar. . lol. But it was a really cute show and I am glad that we got to take her. It is kind of sad how we got the tickets. A friend of mine is having trouble with her husband and she left the state to go back home for a while to sort things out and they already had the tickets so she just gave them to us. I hate they didn't get to go too. :[ I wish we would have known about it more in advance because we would have bought tickets anyway. She was still talking about when we took her to see Playhouse Disney Live! back in September. She loves stuff like that. But yeah, good show, I recommend it to anyone that has lil ones and they watch Sesame Street.

It was supposed to be storming, and we were a little reluctant to drive down there and then it get bad, but we lucked out and the weather was fine. Afterwards we went to IHOP and spoiled her with pancakes. . lol. All in all it was a good night. .and it was great that Brandon got to experience it with us. It seems he always misses out on this kind of thing, so I am so glad that he got to go with us this time!

Yipee!!

2008-05-06T22:56:00.004-04:00

So, I am calling it official. . we are officially potty trained. No more pull-ups!!! She has been daytime potty trained for quite a while now, but the night time thing is what was scaring me. I wasn't ready to stop putting her in a pull-up at night because almost every morning when she woke up her pull-up was wet, so I didn't think she was ready. Then one day I ran out of pull-ups and didn't have a chance to get to the store. So I told her she was going to sleep in her panties, but she couldn't pee in them. She was very excited, I was not, because I just knew I would be waking up in the middle of the night to change her clothes and sheets. But the next morning I woke up and she was awake and dry. I was SUPER excited. So that was the end of pull-ups. That was a few months ago and as of now she has only wet the bed about 4 times. She hasn't had an accident at all in over a month. . so that is it, I am calling it done! LOL. I know she will probably have a few more accidents over the course of time, but I am just so super excited and proud of her! It was so much easier than I thought it was going to be. I just hope the next kid is the same way. . ha ha.

One of those days . .

2008-04-28T19:18:00.004-04:00

So today has been one of those days. It is raining/storming so that means that we are stuck indoors and the little one is going stir crazy. I can't blame her, but she is driving me up the walls. I too am bored so I shifted into super cleaning mode and have been cleaning my ass off all day. Like serious cleaning, washing walls, shampooing carpets, washing throw blankets and tablecloths, hands and knees scrubbing kitchen and bathroom floors. . .yeah that kind of cleaning. Well, my sweet, darling, adorable, innocent (HA) child has been trying to climb back into the womb today. Today has been one of those days where I now know why it is acceptable in some species for mothers to eat their offspring. Bless her little heart.

However, just a few moments ago she made me laugh so hard that I had to lay down. I was in my bedroom trying to put the last load of laundry away and she was on my heels, every time I turned to put something in the closet I tripped over her, etc. I snapped. I screamed at her a lot louder and meaner than I should have, but this has been going on all day. Instead of screaming in fear and running to her room (which was my intention) she just looks at me , throws her hands up and says "JESUS CHRIST MOM, BREATHE!!!!" I lost it. I laughed until my stomach hurt. And of course she thought that was the greatest thing in the world so now she is walking around saying it over and over again. Great, now I have ANOTHER thing I have to break her from saying on public. Just thought I would share. lol.

And it starts. . AGAIN!

2008-04-22T10:32:00.002-04:00

Well, I just got back from the hangar. Dropped hubby off for his first detachment (DET as we in the Navy call it) in this next deployment cycle. If you think about it, it seems like it will be a while before he deploys again. He will be leaving sometime next summer. (I know when but I will not post that on here). But honestly, the cycle starts today and that will make time pass by so quickly and I will be standing in the hangar bay with the USO ladies around me and I will be watching him walk to that plane again before I know it. The DET he is currently on is only 3 weeks. Three weeks is nothing. I can handle that no problem. But, July there is another one, September another, and December another. Then after the new year there are at least 2 more scheduled before they deploy. Now, I know as an educated Navy wife that these are necessary to the readiness of the strike group and essential to the continued training of the pilots and all that jazz, but that doesn't make it suck any less. It seems like they return them home to us and then a couple of months later they start the next rotation. It can be exhausting. And I swear to god if he is gone in September and misses maddie's birthday again, or our anniversary again I will be pissed. We have NEVER spent an anniversary together and this year will be the 5th for us, and he has NEVER been home for our daughter's birthday and she will be 3. I know it is really hard on him.

We were all ready to have another baby when we thought that the next deployment wouldnt be until 2010. But now that things have changed we are going to have to wait. Sometimes it sucks so bad knowing that the government is pretty much determining how your life is to turn out. It would be nice to say "hey let's have a baby" and then go do it not having to worry that your husband may miss the birth, or the first year of the kid's life. But this is the life we have and we will deal with what we get.

I am just looking forward to the day when his degree is finished and then we can make the decision of staying in and becoming an officer, or getting a civilian job. I know that is not too far away, but then again it is. But until then I will stick it out.

I just needed to vent a little about the cycle restarting its self. We can't seem to be able to catch a break.

Arbor Day

2008-04-13T18:21:00.001-04:00

ABC will plant a tree for ever 10 times an embedded video is watched. . .

SPREAD THE WORD!!! Please!

2008-03-11T21:39:00.003-04:00

All you military, and even non military people out there. . help a sister out . .lol. I decided last November to open a shop at Cafepress. I have actually done pretty well considering after initially opening it I didnt have tome to work on it all again until a few days ago. I have been busy creating new designs and I have a ton more that I am working on. The big that that I want to be doing is customized designs. I can make anything from your favorite picture, quote, etc, etc. It doesn't even have to be military themed, that is just my main focus since that is my life. lol. I am having a lot of fun doing this and I hope to be able to continue. So if you could pass on the word I would be very thankful! If you are interested in ordering from me please visit my shop and if you are interested in having an item customized email me at the address listed in my shop BEFORE ordering with what you want. Thanks for all of your support! Also, as an added incentive for a limited time I will be offering a 15% discount to the first 25 people that mention this blog. Thanks again, and you can visit my shop via the link below!

I can't watch Army Wives anymore.. .

2008-03-11T16:35:00.003-04:00

Army Wives (on Lifetime) is in reruns leading up to the new series premier in early summer. I didn't watch it regularly last season when it was on. Brandon was deployed, and I didn't think I could handle getting into a show about the military. A lot of my friends did get into it though, and were constantly talking about how much they loved it and how true it was. I caught a few minutes of a few episodes at a friends house and it did seem like it would be a good show. So anyway, now that it is in reruns and Brandon is home, I thought I would catch up and start watching it. I am now thinking this was a mistake.

I am sitting alone at 0100 (maddie is sleeping, Brandon is at work, and I am a night owl) . . this episode is great! I love it so far. . then it happens. Some of the guys have to deploy. This makes me start to think about our impending deployment. (sure it isn't until next summer, but damn. . I have been through 2 deployments in less than 2 years. . can't we catch a break?). . Just watching these "fake" Army Wives watch their "fake" Army husbands get on that plane to leave broke me down. I lost it. I started bawling uncontrollably. This is kind of silly I know, but it made me start thinking about my real life. I don't know how I will have the strength to stand in that hangar again next summer and say goodbye to my husband, my best friend, yet again.

I have heard that deployments never get easier, you just find better ways to deal. I don't know. At this point, I don't know if I have the strength to do this again. It is so hard. Unbelievably hard. There is no way to describe it. Giving him that last hug and that last kiss, and then watching him turn and walk to that plane, knowing that you are not going to see him for at least another 6 months. . I just don't know how I am going to do that, AGAIN. Hopefully over the next 12 months or so I will be more at peace with the fact that we will be apart again, but as of now if I was told that he was leaving again soon, then I just don't know what I would do. I mean, I cant really do anything, I am not going to ever leave him, so I will have to deal with it, but I don't know where I will pull that strength from.

I was having premonitions of collapsing on the hanger floor out of pure emotional exhaustion, but I can't do that. I have never let him see my cry as he leaves. I will watch him walk to that plane, with a seabag on his back, he will disappear inside, I will turn and walk to the car, not being able to stand and watch the plane leave, when I get to the car, I will cry my eyes out. When I am calm enough to drive, I will head home, and then as soon as I walk into the house it consumes me with this empty, lonely feeling and I cry some more. Finally, I force myself to get up and go on. I keep this from him because he has enough stress, and he hates leaving us just at much as we hate to watch him go, no need to upset him more.

The first couple of weeks is so hard, and then you settle into a routine and things get a little easier, then around half way it gets to you again. . you realize that it seems like it has been forever since you have seen and touched your love, and that you are ONLY half way. Then it gets a little better again, and then the last month before they come home is pure torture again. It is emotionally exhausting. I just don't want to have to do this again so soon. But it is not up to me. And yes, this is the life that we chose, and we are okay with that, but that does not make the long lonely nights and days any easier.

Don't get me wrong, I swell with pride when I think of my husband out there supporting the fight, and ensuring that we here at home can go to bed safely at night. I love being a part of keeping this great country running. I get emotional just thinking of the pride that me and my husband and friends have for this country. What we have is special and I know that, but it doesn't make the separation any easier. The only peace that I have in it is knowing that MY husband is a hero. He may not be a hero that will make history books, or become a household name, but he is MY hero, and he is Maddie's hero, and we love him so much for the sacrifices he makes in his own life to fight for what he believes in and to provide for his family. He is proud of what he does, and we are so proud of him for doing it.

I want to finish watching Army Wives, maybe watching these "fake" families go through this will help more that hurt. I know these are just actors, but there are thousands of real families going through this every single day. Please keep all of the deployed sailors, marines, soldiers, airman, and coasties and the families that they leave behind in your thoughts and prayers. They go away for months and years at a time to fight for us, the least we can do is stay here and fight for them.

Sigh

2007-12-13T00:22:00.000-05:00

So the car is fixed. . over $300 later. grr. The master fuse had blown and it had to have a new battery, that couldnt have come at a better time (sense the sarcasm in my voice).

On a brighter note.. it is only 3 days until my mother gets here to keep my darling angel while I make the 3 hour journey to FL to see my love. I cant wait! I wish he was coming home with me, but 3 more days isnt too long to wait. Hopefully I can keep him home with me for a while this time. We shall see!

Why? Why? Whhhhyyyyy???

2007-12-10T10:51:00.000-05:00

UGH! Okay. . hubby comes home in a little over a week. WE ARE SOOOO CLOSE! But guess what.. . I am having issues with the electrical system in my car. The interior lights do not work, the radio does not work, the a/c does not work. . AHHHHHHH. Why me? Why does everything that can go wrong, go wrong when he is away????? I am supposed to be driving down to meet the ship this weekend. Hubby doesn't get to come home then, but I will get to see him for half of a day and that is more than worth a 3 hour drive. . but my effing car is screwed up!!! I called the dealership this morning and they cant get me in until (sigh) 8 in the morning. . so I wait. Please fix it. . and please don't cost a lot of money. . I am just a poor military wife. . lol. Why does this crap ALWAYS happen to me??? Why cant something in my life just go smoothly for once? Just once? sigh. I just needed to vent. I have so much other crap to be doing this week. . that was not penciled into my schedule. . but oh well. Hopefully things will work out. ahh. . life.

I miss my deployed lover.. . .

2007-11-11T11:34:00.001-05:00

Please note that this is for NAVY, NOT marines, army, air force, or any of those other branches of the military

Sailors come in all shapes, shades, weights, sizes, and states of sobriety, misery, and confusion. He is sly as a fox, has the nerve of a dope addict, the sincerity of a politician, and the subtly of MT. Saint Helen. He is extremely irresistible, totally irrational and completely indestructible.

A Sailor is a Sailor all his life. He is a magical creature. You can kick him out of your house but not out of your heart. You can take him off your mailing list but not off your mind. Sailors are found everywhere... in love...in battle... in lust... in trouble...in debt...in bars and ... behind them. No one can write so seldom and yet think so much of you. No one else can get so much enjoyment out of a letter or clean clothes or a six pack.

A Sailor is a genius with a deck of cards. A millionaire without a cent and brave without a grain of sense. He is the PROTECTOR OF AMERICA, with the latest copy of playboy in his back pocket. When he wants something it's usually 30 days leave, music that hurts the ears, a five dollar bill...or a woman he can count on.

Girls love them, mothers tolerate them, fathers brag about them,
the government pays them, the police watch out for them and somehow they all work together.

You can beat their bodies but not their minds. You can tame their hearts but not their souls.

He likes girls, beer, females, liquor, women, shots, ladies, and the opposite sex.

He dislikes small checks, working weekends, answering letters, eating chow, waking up, maintaining a uniform, and the day before payday.

You may as well give in. He is your deployed lover...he is
your steel eyed, warm smiling, blank minded, hyperactive, over reacting, curious, passive, talented spontaneous, physically fit, good for nothing bundle of worry.....

And will always be there for you regardless of how long its been since you've last talked.

I felt I should share.. .

2007-10-25T15:32:00.000-04:00

Thank you to the woman that wrote this and all of the others that feel the same way. . .we need all of the support we can get. . and people like this are the reason that we do get up every single day and carry on. . just knowing that we are supported and loved and respected is worth more than anything in the world. . that is the only payback any of us would ever ask for. We do it because we love our men and our country.

Thank You~ Jennifer

The woman who wrote this is SO sincere and I honor that. I would like to meet her and shake her hand or even give her a hug. I am warning you have a tissue ready, its got tears in my eyes.

Dear Military Wife,

I am an American woman that has no idea what is going on in the military other than what I hear on the news.

I have never had to let go of someone so that they could go fight for people that they didn't know, people that sometimes do not appreciate or understand what they are fighting for.

I have never had a sleepless night of worry because of a report that another bomb has exploded and I still haven't heard from my husband.

I have never had to wait for months on end to hold the one that I loved so.

I have never had to tell my children that daddy wasn't coming home tonight because he was so far away fighting for something that they aren't yet old enough to understand.

I have never had to hold my head high and suppress the tears as I hear that it will be at least another six months of separation before my loved one gets to come home.

I have never had to deal with a holiday away from the one that I thought I would share every day of my life with.

And I have never had to feel the panic rising in my heart at the sound of a ringing phone or knock at the door for fear that it is the news that everyone is terrified of getting.

For the reasons listed above, I can not tell you that I understand how you feel.

I can not tell you that you must be strong.

I can not say that you shouldn't be angry, because you "knew what you were getting into when you married a military man".
I can not say these things because I have never had to walk in your shoes.

What I can say for certain is that because of your unselfish acts of bravery and your husbands willingness to stand up for those who see him as "just another soldier" - -
I will never have to walk in your shoes.

I do understand that as a military wife you are expected to uphold a certain amount of control, but I never understood how you could do it, until now.

I have figured out that you are not like other women.

You are of a special breed.

You have a strength within you that holds life together in the darkest of hours, a strength of which I will never possess.

The faith you have is what makes you stand out in a crowd; it makes you glow with emotion and swell with pride at the mention of The United States of America.

You are a special lady, a wonderful partner and a glorious American.

I have more respect for your husband than I could ever tell you, but until recently I never thought much about those that the soldier leaves at home during deployment.

Until this moment I could never put into words exactly what
America meant to me.

Until this moment, I had no real reason to.... Until I heard of you.

Your husband and his military family hold this nation close, safe from those who wish to hurt us...but you and those like you are the backbone of the American family.

You keep the wheels in motion and the hearts alive while most would just break completely down.

Military families make this nation what it is today.

You give us all hope and you emit a warming light at the end of a long dark tunnel.

Because of you and your family...I am able to be me.

I am able to have my family.

I am able to walk free in this great land.

Because of you and your family, I can look ahead to the future with the knowledge that life is going to be okay.

Because of you and your family, I can awake to a new day, everyday.

I realize that you are a stronger person than I will ever be because of these things and I just wanted to take the time today to say thank you to you and your family for allowing me that freedom.

I will never be able to repay this debt to you, as it is unmatchable.

However, I hope that you know that no matter where you are...

what you are doing...

what has happened today...

or what will happen tomorrow...

Your husband will NEVER be "just another soldier" to me....

And you, dear sweet lady, will never be forgotten.

You are all in my prayer's everyday and I pray that God will bring you back together with your loved one safely.

May God Bless You

To my Navy Girls. . . . I love you guys!

2007-10-19T10:41:00.001-04:00

"The goodbyes are what make hellos so wonderful."

How many times have we heard this? How many times have we heard this and wanted to hate it, but instead had to love it because it was the truth. Hundreds maybe.. even thousands of times.

Loving a man far away is hard, no matter what anyone says. Long distance in itself is difficult. But what magnifies it even more is the military lifestyle, the fact that our men are also Sailors. Being an extension of the Navy, we are involved too. We lead our civilian lives, but, whether or not we believe it, we also lead extensions of our Sailor's life. We learn about the Navy. We read about it, speak of it, and maybe even dream about it. We know what all the acronyms mean, and we don't even have to think twice when confronted with military time. We know rank, and how to address it. We find ourselves swelling with pride every time we hear the National Anthem or America the Beautiful. Both of which give us chills down our spines and tears in our eyes. Every time we see another man in uniform, our hearts yearn for our own Sailor, and our prayers extend to whomever is loving this man from far away. Each of you know exactly what I mean as I sit here, writing this to you.

I am writing it for you.

For all of you who wake up in the morning, lay there for a few moments, trying to swallow the sick feeling in the pit of your stomach as you wonder where your Sailor is or how he is doing... this is for you.

For all of you who start a countdown the minute he leaves and continue to until he is back in your arms again... this is for you.

For all of you who tear up every time "Far Away" comes on the radio, or who press repeat when "Come Home Soon" plays in your car... this one's for you.

For all of you who see Navy billboards, ads in the paper, or commercials on TV and next notice the tears rolling down your cheeks, this is for you.

I am one of you too. This is for US.

For all the times we sleep with our phones on the loudest possible volume as to not miss the call that just MIGHT come...

For all of you who can't walk past the computer when your Sailor is deployed without just checking to see if MAYBE you have an email.

For all the times we roll our eyes when another girl is depressed because she hasn't seen her guy in a week... poor thing.

For all of you who know exactly how many hours ahead of you your Sailor is when he is in Iraq, Afghanistan, Kuwait, Dubai, The Gulf, Japan, etc. . .

For all the late nights that we spend alone, cuddling with our stuffed animals, wearing our Sailors PT sweatshirts and sweatpants, clutching his precious dog tags around our necks...

This one is for us.

We may feel weak on the inside, but, on the outside we're strong.
We may be drowning in tears on the inside, but, on the outside we are a rock.
We may want to crawl into bed and sleep until our man comes home, but, instead, we get up and go on with our daily lives with our men in our hearts, and always in our thoughts.
We may feel like we're slowly dying with each day we spend apart from our men, but, instead, we put one foot in front of the other and take each day as it comes.

We are strong and we are proud.
We have more love in our hearts than we ever thought possible, and, for this, we are thankful. We are thankful for our men and also for each other. We are Sailor's girls and we lean on one another. We have a sisterhood.

Alone we are weak, but, together we are strong. We help each other and we survive.

To all of you USN gals out there- hold your head up and be proud.
We are connected, ALWAYS.

I can breathe. . . .

2007-10-15T17:07:00.000-04:00

I just had the most amazing phone call with my husband. He called from port and it is the first time I have heard his voice in a month. But the most amazing thing is all of the stuff that we talked about. He spent $50 to buy 2 phone cards so that we could talk for 2 hours. . that was a great surprise. I don't know why, but we both just started opening up and talking about things that we have never really talked about. We have had some really rough years in our marriage and to be honest. . neither one of us thought that it would last. Not because we didn't care about each other, just because we had given up on each other. But that is a whole different story. Things were BAD. But things have gotten better in the last 6 months. A LOT better. I am very guilty of not being there for him in his times of need, because I felt like he was never there for me. . so when his dad passed away. . I did what I needed to do as far as help organize the funeral, and take care of the financials and getting the house and stuff taken care of. . but I never really opened myself up to him to let him grieve. . yes, I had beef with his dad. . but that should never have made me not be there for my husband. Anyway, that is another REALLY long story. And I have done quite a few other things that i really regret. I had a talk with my best friend one night about all of our problems and things I did and things he did. . and she just told me that she feels like everything, good or bad, happens for a reason, and if it wouldn't have happened I wouldn't be feeling like I am today. It just kind of switched a light on for me. She is totally right. Now this is the same person I have been trying to give marital advice to, she needs to just listen to herself. . lol. But from that day on, I have realized that I am more in love with my husband than the day that I married him. . and I cant thank her enough for that. Yes, before I was getting to this point. . I was finally happy with him, and the way things were going, but I just needed that push to realize that everything was going to be okay. And after talking to him today, I know that everything is going to be okay. We were both in tears when we got off the phone. . and he was around hundreds of guys, but he said he didn't care. He talked to me about things that had been bothering him about us, and I did the same thing, and we talked about his dad dying. . and a lot of other things. It was a GREAT talk. . probably one of the best we have ever had. I am just so at peace right now. . it is a wonderful feeling. Also, for anyone who cares. We have decided that as soon as he gets home we are going to have another baby. This was his idea. I have tossed around the thought, but I wanted to wait until it was a better time for him. . but the more I kept thinking about it, I realized that there never would be a perfect time for us. . if we wait until shore duty maddison will be 5, nearly 6 before we had it, and I just don't want them that far apart. . so we will officially be trying when he gets home. I am so excited. On another note. . maddison is sick. . I feel sorry for her. . she is running a fever and puking.. .fun fun. Hopefully she will feel better tomorrow.

Frustration. . .

2007-10-14T15:39:00.001-04:00

Talking dirty through email is just not that effective. . . LOL.

OUCH!

2007-10-13T00:48:00.000-04:00

That is what I say everytime my bra strap rubs my shoulders. . lol. I have spent 2 days this week at the beach, and I am going back Sunday. I am burnt.. but I love it! Lol. I wouldnt have it any other way. I think it just kind of dawned on us that summer is over, and fall is passing by quickly, so we need to get as much beach time in as possible. I love the ocean.. it is such a stress reliever for me. I love going to the beach and laying in the sun, cooking my ass, and listening to the waves crash. . ahh heaven. The kids love it. I love them being there. . we can let them go, and they run and they play, and they are not in my hair. . LOVE IT. It has been a pretty good week. Tomorrow is 100 days since hubby left. Time has been pretty good to us. Not too slow. He will be home in less than 100 days. . so that is a wonderful thing. Cant wait! He is hitting port in a few days. . so I will get a phone call.. I cant wait to hear his voice again! He has also been promoted to shift supervisor. . this is a good thing for him. . it looks great on his evals.. but it also means a lot more work. . so that sucks for me. But he is great at his job and he puts his whole heart into it.. so things will be fine. I am just so proud of him.

An all around bad day. . .

2007-09-29T14:12:00.000-04:00

I miss him. I am having a really hard day today. Things have been fine. I have been very proud of myself this deployment. I have not broken down once, not once. I have been strong. Today is a different story. I keep crying at the drop of a hat, I am lonely, and I am sad. I want my husband home. I know this may sound selfish. He has only been gone for 3 months. There are thousands of other women out there who have been without their husbands a lot longer than that. And there are the ones that will never see their husbands again. I count myself lucky that I only have to survive 6-7 month deployments at a time. Even though they come way too often. But today, I am not feeling very strong. I don't feel strong most days, I feel like I could fall apart at the drop of a hat and my world is always chaos, but I hold it together. I have to. I am supposed to be getting ready to go to our half way party today, to celebrate this deployment being half finished. This is a good day, yet it makes me realize we are only half finished. . that means I have another 3 months to go. I don't know how I will make it. Although I hate deployments with everything inside of me, and every time I hear that word mentioned I get sick at my stomach, I do have to credit them with saving my marriage. Most people don't know of all of our problems, that is something I have always been good at, hiding my true problems. But lets just say that things were more than shaky there for a while. Just in the past 6-9 months have I realized what I want out of my life. It took me that long to decide what I need to be happy. I know this is sad, but that is just life I guess. I am at peace in my life right now, and I am ever so grateful for that. But I have a friend who is at the exact same point in her life right now that I was at only a few short years ago. She thinks that it is the end of the world, and she is ready to give up. Well, she has given up. I wish I could pass on my infinite wisdom to her, but I can't. This is something that she needs to deal with on her own. I have given her my advice, but that is all that it can be, advice. She has to make the decision in her life if it is worth sticking around for. Personally, I am so glad that I stuck around. There were many many days and months where I didn't know why I did, but now I am so happy that I did. I wish the best for her. She is young just like me, and she is having to walk the same hard road I did. I would never wish that upon my worst enemy, bless her heart. Why can't life be easy? Why can't things just be cut and dry? Not only will I be sad for her if she does lose her marriage, I will be sad for me too. I know that is selfish, but she has become one of my very best friends, and I don't want to lose her. She has helped me get through some rough times over the past few months, and she is exactly what I needed to help get me out of my rut. I have had so much trouble finding friends in the places we have lived. I have made many "friends" and gone and done things with them and that sort of thing, but I had not been able to find that person that I could call at 2 am because I am upset, or I can just walk into her house and take whatever I want out of the fridge. That is what I needed. I needed someone who knows what I am going through, because they are too. I finally found that. We have so much in common, and we understand each other. I don't want to lose her. But I do want her to make the best decisions regarding her life, and if that is going back home, and leaving her husband, then that is what she needs to do. She deserves to be happy just like anyone else in the world. Her marriage is very new, and they still have a lot of learning and growing to do, but if both of them are not willing to work on things, then there is no hope. Deployment doesn't make that any easier. But yes, I am sad today, today is not a good day. I need a bottle of tequila and a baby sitter. . lol. I miss my husband, I want him home, now. Thinking of him right now makes me burst into tears. I have finally had it. . .my good cry since he left. I needed that I know. . but dammit I hate to cry. And now I have messed up my makeup, so I guess I need to go and reapply. I just needed to get a few things off of my chest. Maybe tomorrow will be a better day.

Tiny Tot Love ♥

2007-08-09T21:31:00.000-04:00

So maddison has her first boyfriend. It is too cute. His name is Connor and he was 2 in April. He is the cutest little thing. He is my new friend Sandi's son. They have been together every single day since last Saturday. When we are not with them Connor is saying "I wanna go Maddison's house" "I love maddison" and Maddison is saying "connie. . connie and looking out the window". It is the cutest thing I have ever seen. Maddison is so aggressive with him. . she is always trying to hug him and kiss him. . and he is like "get away". .LOL. Of course my hubby is not happy that he goes away and she gets her first boyfriend. He says I just can't let her get married before he gets home. I sent him a pic and he said. . "he is a really cute kid. . it is sad that I am going to have to kill him" ha ha. Well, I just thought I would share about my little one's first love.

A Little Adult Conversation goes a long way. . .

2007-08-05T12:44:00.000-04:00

Oh my gosh. . you never know how much you miss talking to an adult until you have the opportunity. . now don't get me wrong my 2 year old is quite the conversationalist and she always has something interesting to say. . but half of it I can't understand. . ha ha. I finally met some ladies here that I think I am going to get along with really well. I started talking to one of them on myspace and then we decided to meet up yesterday. . and I met another at the Family Support Group Meeting last night. One has a 2 year old son and him and my baby girl got along sooo well. . We ended up all going over to one of the girl's house to eat dinner and we didn't leave until 1 am. We were all so excited about talking to an adult I think. They are both wives from my command so we have that in common. I am also starting to take the lil one to 2 play groups every week. One here at LB and the other is a Mommy's morning out thing at PI. I am soo looking forward to that. She loves playing with other kids. . but I was having trouble finding mommies that I could tolerate long enough for that. . but now I think I have! YAY! Ha ha sorry to ramble. . but I am just relieved. . I think this will help pass the time of cruise a lot better!

It's August!!

2007-08-01T15:07:00.000-04:00

July went by so quickly.. thank the lord! I hope the months continue to fly by and don't start dragging ass like I know they are going to. I seem to have a lot to keep me busy. That is good. This week has actually gone by fast, I have had a million things to do around here, after being gone for 10 days. Whew you never know how much you will miss your house and your stuff until you leave it for a while. I had a pretty good trip back home. I threw my sis a sweet 16 party. It was a bust. Her friends are losers from hell. I invited 65 people and 2 showed up. Her best friends weren't even there. Well, they used to be her best friends. . I don't know now. My friends would NEVER have done that to me. . she needs to find some better "friends".

The rest of the week I didn't do too much, then I went to PCB for the weekend with my mom and step dad and sis and Nanny. It was an okay trip, not what I would call a vacation, but it was okay. We ended up having a pretty good time after a rough start. Oh yeah, and my windshield got broken on the way home.. a truck threw something up off of the road and now it is cracked in the middle. . OH that PISSED me off. And of course I don't have the money right now to get it fixed because my insurance deductible is more then the windshield, so I am having to drive around like a redneck with a big crack in my windshield. UGH!! But anyway. . I really would like to try to take a week long vacation down there next summer though. . It has changed a lot since the last time I went, and there were a ton of things down there that I want to do. Maybe I can find someone to split a condo with us and we can go. Can't afford it on my own. ha ha.

I really don't have a lot going on in August to keep me busy. I am going back home at the end for my kiddo's 2nd birthday. OMG I can't believe she is almost 2!! I was shocked at seeing her boy cousin when I went back home. . he just turned 2 and he was so much bigger than the last time I had seen him, which was only a couple of months ago! I think we need to put a book on their heads. Not just bigger, but the vocabularies keep growing! I am not going to have a baby anymore after Sept. I think there is some kind of mourning process you have to go through when your first baby grows up, I am NOT looking forward to that. I am not sure about when she will get a little brother or sister. Hubby wants another sooo bad. . but I keep telling him, how about you get to know your first kid first!! haha. . Poor thing. She is 23 months old and he has seen her for 11 months of her life. That is really sad. . I know. And of that 11 months he was gone a lot for training. He missed her 1st bday and he is going to miss her 2nd. I just pray that he is home for her 3rd. It is so funny though, because even though they get to spend so little time together she is such a Daddy's Girl. She kisses his picture and talks to it every day. And I wear his dog tags when he is gone and she kisses them and says "daddy's necklace" it is so sweet. She misses him like crazy. . every morning when she wakes up the first thing she says is "Daddy?" and I have to say "no baby. . he is still on the ship". I will be so glad when we get to a point when he doesn't have to deploy as often. But until then I will be here supporting and missing him. He got to call when he was in port in France. I got to talk to him twice! It was great to hear his voice. I dunno when he will get to call back. . no more ports for a long time I am afraid. Well the kid just woke up from her nap so I have to go back to playing mommy now.

Coping. . .

2007-07-12T10:19:00.000-04:00

Ugh. . I don't feel good today. My stomach hurts, my head hurts, and I feel like I wanna puke. I hate feeling sick, that is the worst thing in the world. And of course my poor child has no clue and she just wants to play with mommy. Mommy doesn't want to play. ha ha. Days like this make me really miss my Petty Officer. Don't get me wrong I miss him all of the time. But this deployment is different for some reason so far. I am at peace. It is strange. Yes, I miss him, and yes, I want him to come home, and yes, I worry about him every single day. But I am fine with all of that for now. I get up in the morning get into my normal routine and go about my day. I am not letting this get to me. I am a strong woman and I can make it. . well at least that is what I keep telling myself. I am counting down the days until he gets home, but I think I will be fine until then. I am keeping myself busy with little projects that need to be done around the house, and I have several trips planned to go back home. Once for my lil sis's sweet 16, and then again for my lil one's 2nd birthday, and then for Thanksgiving, and then for Christmas. So that is 4 trips home. That should keep me busy. I think I will be making the Christmas trip alone this year. . from the sounds of it they won't be back by then. A news reporter asked when we might expect them back. . and I quote the skipper "We are here to serve our country and the president and to support the ground troops. . .We will return when our Nation doesn't need us anymore." Oh, okay. . see you in 2029. It is a little scary not knowing when they will be home. .but we deal. We have to.

Now the Real Countdown Begins. . .

2007-07-06T21:11:00.000-04:00

The Countdown until he comes home. Well actually there is not really a true x amount of days until daddy gets home. . . because they never tell you when they are going to be home. They say "maybe sometime in December". . which really means. . could be December. . could be January. . who knows. But anyhow. .he is gone. Not really gone gone yet. . ship's movement hasn't happened yet. . can't tell you when it is going to. . you know OPSEC and all. . "Loose Lips Sink Ships". But it is happening soon. . but the air wing flew up there yesterday. It was a sad going away. Particulary because of the lil one's reaction. Hubby was like "tell me bye, I am going to be gone for a long time" and she was like "bye daddy" and then wanted to keep playing. Then he said bye to me and they started walking to the plane. Suddenly she realized that he was no longer standing there and then she saw him off in the distance and she started screaming "DADDY DADDY. . MOMMA GO!! DADDY GO GO!!" It was soooo sad. She burst into tears and tried running after him. . of course I had to catch her and she kicked me and screamed. Some of the women that don't have kids around me started crying because she was so upset. Of course there were many other kids there just as upset. It was difficult. It wasn't so bad last time they left.. she didnt have a clue what was going on. But now she is asking for him constantly. I think she will be fine until he calls from the first port call and she realizes that he isn't going to come home. But as sad as it is, this is something that she will have to get used to.

So far I am fine. . but it isn't too real yet because I can still talk to him on the phone right now. He will actually be at Oceana for about a week because they are making him stay back to make sure all of the jets dont have any problems when they take off to head that way. Then they will fly him and the few other guys that stayed back with him out to the ship. He is so looking forward to this because he has been catapulted off of the ship before but he has never landed on it and caught the wire. And of course in that sick Macho mind set guys have. . this is the coolest thing to happen to him all year. ha ha. The first port call is going to be very soon after they leave . . and then we were told not to expect too many after that. They will be spending all of their time doing combat missions. I can't give any details. . but it is going to suck.

We had a great 4th of July. We went to Parris Island and watched the fireworks and listened to the Marine Corps Band. . it was great. Good times.. It was a wonderful way to spend our last day together before he left.

I just hope that he makes it in for Christmas. . but I am not going to get my hopes up. Well more to come as I am allowed to talk about it.

The Countdown begins. . .

2007-06-26T14:19:00.000-04:00

until Deployment. . . UGH. I have put it off as long as possible. I guess I thought that if I didn't think about it or if I didn't talk about it that it wouldn't happen. Well pretending that he is not leaving is not going to work anymore. . we are in final countdown mode. I hate the final week before he leaves. There is never ending amounts of stuff to do. Honey do this and honey do that before you leave because I don't want it to mess up while you are gone. . paperwork, paperwork, paperwork. Making sure the direct deposit is good, making sure we have an agreement on each other's budget while we are apart, making sure the power of attorney is good, making sure the dreaded will is correct, filling out emergency contact sheets, filling out final wishes sheets, making sure the all of his file is up to date. . it never ends. . then there is the packing. . the shopping for the packing. . . never ending nonsense. There is so much stuff to do to prepare there is no time to spend just having family time. . .well not that we could get that anyway because on top of all the stuff that has to be done at home there is that much and more for him to do at work so they are working 16-18 hour nights and weekends. . oh we did hear that they might get the 4th off work. . how sweet of them to let us celebrate independence day. .you know the reason they are fighting in the first place.

I am just really stressed right now. But I put the brave face on and tell him how supportive I am and that I am so proud of him and that we will be fine. Then I do the crying behind closed doors so that no one can see. I know he hates leaving us behind and he hates missing so much in the lil ones life. . . but deep down he has this need and want to go. As soon as they get the orders there is this little sparkle that they all get in their eyes. They try their best to hid it from us. . be we see it. We secretly hate that twinkle, but it is comforting to know that the people that are out there defending us want to be there and the love every minute of it. Yeah, they sometimes complain, but who doesn't complain about their job? But at the end of the day every single sailor, marine, soldier, or airman that I know would go back in a heartbeat and they cant think of anything else they would rather be doing.

Ships movement is happening sooner than what we were originally told, but that is really no surprise to me. I have learned that in a life with the government you don't expect something to happen on a certain date until it is actually happening. Dates, times, and places WILL be changed a hundred times before the event. For me being such an organization freak this is a little unnerving for me, but I manage. . ha ha.

As the deployment creeps nearer the fights get closer together. They call it "predeployment isolation". ha ha leave it to the government to name everything. They say it is because you don't want to get close to anyone that you know that you are going to be apart from for a while. It happens every time. . and then 5 minutes after you drop him off he calls and says I am so sorry.. I miss you already. ha ha ha. . it's just another one of those things that we deal with. But anyway. . I am going to go. I am sure that I will be writing a lot more about this, because this is a great outlet for me. . I don't like to whine to people with my problems so I will just air them out for the entire cyberspace to read . . ha ha.

Ta ta for now!

Random Thoughts

2007-05-28T16:23:00.001-04:00

I am bored out of my mind and the lil one is napping so I thought I would get on here and spit some random thoughts.

Happy Memorial Day first off. I hope that everyone is remembering the true meaning of the day and not that it is just a day to get off work and have and excuse for a barbecue. Many men and women have died for this country and they deserve the upmost respect.

There are only like 5 more days until the dh comes home. It seems like he has been gone forever and it has only been like 9 days. This upcoming deployment is going to SUCK! But oh well, what can you do?

My dad and stepmom came and visited for a few days. That was nice. They don't ever get to visit. We ran non stop the whole time they were here, but we had a blast. The only thing is that when I go do something or go eat somewhere where I have never been before I feel a little guilty that dh can't be there with me. But then I remember that he has gotten to go to about 9 countries that I have not seen and there are no telling how many more before his career is over. So I only feel bad for a second! ha ha. I am exhausted after them leaving though, so I have done NOTHING today. Tomorrow brings house cleaning and laundry though. . fun fun.

Let's see. . what's next? My little brother is a piece of shit. I wish I could strangle him with my bare hands. I am sick and tired of him mooching off of everyone and getting away with it. I don't care what lifestyle he chooses to live, that is his business. . but he needs to do that on his own. . and not have to rely on an 83 year old woman and a 21 year old girl to support him. What kind of loser does that? Well, more to come about that. . but the little one just woke up. .

I love my mom. . I really do!

2007-05-16T17:25:00.000-04:00

So I started back on my WW diet today. . I was doing sooo good last summer and then I moved and couldn't go to meetings anymore. . but I took a vow to stick with it and all that BS. Well of course I didn't stick with it, and I have started back 3 times since, to last about 3-4 weeks and fall off the wagon again. Well I made up my mind. . this is the week! I am starting today! Nobody is getting in my way! I was doing great today. . wonderful in fact! I stuck with my diet just fine. . then I actually went and walked at least 2 miles. I was very proud. Then I get home. The doorbell rings. It is a woman with a huge bouquet of flowers. I look at hubby he say's "it wasn't me. ." and then shoots the "Who the hell sent you flowers" look. Then She hands me a huge box of chocolates. From the Chocolate Tree. . a local candy store. I have been wanting to get candy from there since I have moved here. . but I refrained. I read the card. . "Happy Mother's Day. . blah blah blah, Love, Mom". Back to the "I love my mom, I really do". Now if this was just some random box of chocolates I could resist no problem. . I don't eat a lot of sweets anyway. But, no, this is the best chocolate I have had in a while. This is even better than River Street Sweets in Savannah and I thought that place was the best ever! Now I have to practice "Will Power" ha ha. . if I had will power I would not need WW. I am starting by taking a lot of it to the squadron tonight and giving it to the guys in Hubby's shop. That will take care of some of it. . but the rest is for me!! ha ha. . I guess I will be walking 4 miles the rest of the week! I guess that is pay back for the 2lbs of Hershey's chocolate I sent my mom for Mother's Day! ha ha ha! But she is about to get liposuction. . so she can get away with it! BLAH!

Kind of a funny story. . .

2007-05-15T18:16:00.000-04:00

We went to town on Sunday and when we were coming back onto the base I said let's just stop by the park with Maddison. . so we started to and then I decided that maybe we should run home fist and grab her something to drink because it was super hot that day and then we could just walk to the park. Well we got the drinks and were getting ready to walk that way when we say a HUGE black cloud of smoke in the same area we were about to go to. That particular park his right next to the 7 day store/gas station. So we hopped into the car instead and headed that way thinking the gas station was on fire. When we got around the corner we quickly realized it wasn't the gas station, it was the park! ha ha. It is not every day you see slides with 40 foot flames coming out the top. This is the same place we would have been at if we wouldn't have gone to the house for drinks. When we drove by it the first time it was fine so it had to have happened during the 2-3 mins we were at home. We watched the firemen put it out, but it was completely destroyed. The housing communtiy is undergoing remodeling and that was the last park they finished. . it was all brand new equpitment that is now a melted pile of plastic. I have no idea how it started. The lil one just watched and said "Oh No!! Uh Oh!!" over and over. It was sad! ha ha. Well I guess that is just one more traumatic childhood event that she can discuss with her therapist one day! Needless to say we went to another park! But we had fun none the less. Just thought I would share my amusing story.

Mother's Day. .

2007-05-15T18:01:00.000-04:00

I had a pretty good Mother's Day. Hubby let me sleep in and then he brought me breakfast in bed. He got me a nice pot for my palm tree on the front porch, and a few other little things for the yard, and a sweet card from him and the lil one. Then later that night he cooked me dinner and even cleaned the kitchen! It was a wonderful thing. I wish every day was Mother's Day. . he he. I hope everyone else had a great day also.

Well on a more Ugh side of things.. my hubby just realized a few days ago that he was sent the wrong books for one of his distance learning courses, and when he called them to find out what he needed to do, they said well we can send you the new books but your tests and homework have to be turned in by the 15th. HA HA HA. He got the right books like Saturday, and then had until today to do all of the quizzes, homework, and then go take 2 tests and a final today. So I got conned into doing his homework. It was algebra, I have not done algebra since 8th grade. . and there were 60 assignments to do in 2 days. I started working on these yesterday morning at about 10am. . I went to bed at about 5:30am this morning. Got up, and started again. Only stopping to take care of the lil one's needs. My hand hurts, my head hurts, my neck hurts, and I am tired! Ugh, the things we will do for our husbands. But we got it done and he went and took his tests and final. Praise the lord!

About the lil one. . we are doing GREAT with potty training. I am so proud of her. She is doing a wonderful wonderful job. We are still having some accidents, but that is to be expected. I am not forcing it. She just pretty much goes when she wants to right now. She is such a great kid. She keeps me laughing all day long. I don't know what I would do without her.

Hubby leaves Sunday to go on a det (detachment) to the boat again. Good news, is they are only supposed to be gone for 10 days. Yay! That is great! Bad news is, there are rumours flying that they will not be coming back and just go straight into deployment. Not great! But they are just rumours right now. They have a pre-deployment briefing this week sometime, so maybe we will find out for sure then.

My dad and stepmom are coming to visit next week. This should be fun. They don't get to come visit very often. They only came to Va Beach, one time, and I think that is only because we had just had the baby. ha ha.

I'm really not that bad of a mom. . .

2007-04-20T18:41:00.000-04:00

I guess some days being a "single" parent just gets to me. I am to the point today where I just don't want to go any further. I have the beginnings of a migraine and I just want to crawl into bed and cry. Husband is supposed to be home at midnight Saturday. Well I have to drive to Savannah and pick him up at midnight because the air strip here is closed due to the airshow this weekend. But anyway. . back to my point. Some days I just want to give up. I have yelled so much today. This is one of those days where the kid is being a SHIT. She is into EVERYTHING. Tearing up EVERYTHING. I have been trying to clean today. . ha ha ha. I can't get one thing finished without turning the corner and a new mess awaits. If I find one more goldfish cracker crushed into the carpet I think I may flip. I know it is not her fault, it is all of my emotions that need to be fixed. .

My life is so stressed right now. I guess I don't really have anyone to turn to. Nobody really understands how I am feeling, or they will judge me for the things that I need to get off my chest. I guess keeping all of this bottled inside is starting to take its toll on me. I don't like being that mom that screams at her kid constantly and just wants to beat her until she stops, but that is how I feel right now. I never wanted to have kids this young. But I guess that you have to take the hand that you are dealt. Here lately I have been rethinking a lot of decisions that I have made in my life. What if I would have done this differently or this. . or so on. But I can't change things now. . so I need to move on with life. Sometimes I just feel like I am missing out on something. What, I don't know. . but something.

Well I guess I need to get my head out of my ass and try and survive until bed time. Hopefully that won't be too far away.

OMG I want to sleep!

2007-03-02T00:57:00.000-05:00

It is 1 am! I am not sleeping. Why, you might ask. Because I have my eyes glued to the radar. Yes, it is getting to be that time of year again when almost every week there is a threat of severe weather. It ALWAYS happens when I am alone. . ALWAYS!! So I get to pull double duty and stay up by myself. It really hasn't gotten here yet and that is what is pissing me off. It is just west of us. I wish it would hurry up and move through so I can go to bed. Because no matter how much sleep I manage to get, Maddison will be up at the ass crack of dawn as her usual chipper self. UGH! This has been a really dangerous set of storms though. One did some serious damage in Enterprise, AL. My step mom's sister lives there, and the tornado was really close to her house. Luckily they are fine and had no damage. Our tornado siren has gone off twice today for no reason. . I dunno. But it is REALLY freaking loud! It is like maybe 100 yards from my house! GEEZE! I just hope it doesn't have to go off again. It would be nice for it to just blow over and then I can go to bed. But just in case it doesn't, just like any good southern girl, I have the bathroom ready. . blankets, pillows, shoes, jackets, flashlight, and my purse! haha. Well, that is what you get from living in AL all your life! Well, we shall see how the rest of the night plays out. . hopefully uneventful!!

Are you kidding me??

2007-02-28T13:37:00.000-05:00

Well, the ship was supposed to get underway yesterday. But instead I get a phone call saying that as they were pushing away from the pier the ship went dead in the water! Are you kidding me? So they moored back up and sent divers into the water to fix the problem.. something to do with one of the propellors or something. It took the divers until after 10 last night to fix it. Then no more did they get finished with that, they had a problem in one of the engine rooms. So as of midnight last night hubby still didnt know when they were going to get to pull out. He called this morning at about 0930 and said they were attempting to push off again. I assume they made it because I have not heard anything contrary to that. Is that not a sign that they just dont need to go?? I can just see them out in the middle of the ocean and the reactors going down. .which they have been known to do. . leaving them bobbing like an oversized bath toy! That ship is a piece of shit anyway. It was supposed to be decommed next year, but they are wanting to extend it until 2013! Come on now! I will bet hubby's left nut it doesnt make it 2 more years! While on cruise he broke a handrail just by bumping into it. It was so rusty the damned thing just snapped apart! Safe, huh?? Let's just hope the rest of this little underway period is uneventful!

Yay, my first blog!

2007-02-26T16:16:00.000-05:00

Well, I decided to start a blog. Writing is such good therapy. I could definitely use some!

So, yesterday morning I dropped hubby off at the hangar for his "boat det". I managed to do this with no tears despite the circumstances. Well, no tears that is until the drive back home. Normally this wouldn't be that big of an ordeal. Drop him off, he goes to sea for three weeks, pick him up and bring him home. But this time the chain of command has managed to leave us all in the dark. There have been rumours flying for a few weeks now that they are not going to come back in 3 weeks. As a matter of fact, it has been said that they could be out for as long as 9 months. When seeking answers to these questions we were met with. . well "officially" we will be back in 3 weeks, but "officially" pack a sea bag like you will not be returning. This is ridiculous! Knowing that they are going out for 6-9 months is one thing. You have time to prepare emotionally, financially, get things done around the house, that sort of thing. But to be given a time period of 3 weeks to 9 months. . . come on now!! Being a military wife you learn to cope with being alone much of the time. It isn't easy, and I don't think it ever does get easier, but we deal. But now I am just pissed! If you are going to snatch my husband away on a deployment, fine, I know it is for a reason, but give us a little notice!

I ♥ being a Navy wife. I am very proud of my husband and the things they do. Sometimes the loneliness just gets to me. My family is great though, they call, write, and sometimes even visit! It helps a lot. Also chasing an 18 month old passes the days by pretty quickly!

Speaking of 18 month old. . . the little one is doing great. She amazes me every day. It seems here lately she is learning a new word every single day. She is such a great kid, I couldn't have asked for anything better. We were lucky. I can't believe how big she is now though, it seems like just a few months ago I was bringing her home from the hospital. My only regret with her is that I wish hubby could get to see her grow and develop more. It seems like every time she does something new he is not around, and has to learn about it later. He catches himself treating her like a tiny baby sometimes, and then he has to step back and realize that she isn't so tiny any more. She loves her daddy though! They are inseparable when he is around.

They are finally finished with the renovations on my house. Thank God! All that is left is landscaping. They put the irrigation system in Friday and a tree. now comes the flower beds, and grass. . oh yeah and they have to repave the driveway, but after that they will be FINISHED! Yay, no more strange people in, and around my house all of the time! Very Exciting news!!

Oh yeah. . .