Yipee!!

So, I am calling it official. . we are officially potty trained. No more pull-ups!!! She has been daytime potty trained for quite a while now, but the night time thing is what was scaring me. I wasn't ready to stop putting her in a pull-up at night because almost every morning when she woke up her pull-up was wet, so I didn't think she was ready. Then one day I ran out of pull-ups and didn't have a chance to get to the store. So I told her she was going to sleep in her panties, but she couldn't pee in them. She was very excited, I was not, because I just knew I would be waking up in the middle of the night to change her clothes and sheets. But the next morning I woke up and she was awake and dry. I was SUPER excited. So that was the end of pull-ups. That was a few months ago and as of now she has only wet the bed about 4 times. She hasn't had an accident at all in over a month. . so that is it, I am calling it done! LOL. I know she will probably have a few more accidents over the course of time, but I am just so super excited and proud of her! It was so much easier than I thought it was going to be. I just hope the next kid is the same way. . ha ha.

One of those days . .

So today has been one of those days. It is raining/storming so that means that we are stuck indoors and the little one is going stir crazy. I can't blame her, but she is driving me up the walls. I too am bored so I shifted into super cleaning mode and have been cleaning my ass off all day. Like serious cleaning, washing walls, shampooing carpets, washing throw blankets and tablecloths, hands and knees scrubbing kitchen and bathroom floors. . .yeah that kind of cleaning. Well, my sweet, darling, adorable, innocent (HA) child has been trying to climb back into the womb today. Today has been one of those days where I now know why it is acceptable in some species for mothers to eat their offspring. Bless her little heart.

However, just a few moments ago she made me laugh so hard that I had to lay down. I was in my bedroom trying to put the last load of laundry away and she was on my heels, every time I turned to put something in the closet I tripped over her, etc. I snapped. I screamed at her a lot louder and meaner than I should have, but this has been going on all day. Instead of screaming in fear and running to her room (which was my intention) she just looks at me , throws her hands up and says "JESUS CHRIST MOM, BREATHE!!!!" I lost it. I laughed until my stomach hurt. And of course she thought that was the greatest thing in the world so now she is walking around saying it over and over again. Great, now I have ANOTHER thing I have to break her from saying on public. Just thought I would share. lol.

And it starts. . AGAIN!

Well, I just got back from the hangar. Dropped hubby off for his first detachment (DET as we in the Navy call it) in this next deployment cycle. If you think about it, it seems like it will be a while before he deploys again. He will be leaving sometime next summer. (I know when but I will not post that on here). But honestly, the cycle starts today and that will make time pass by so quickly and I will be standing in the hangar bay with the USO ladies around me and I will be watching him walk to that plane again before I know it. The DET he is currently on is only 3 weeks. Three weeks is nothing. I can handle that no problem. But, July there is another one, September another, and December another. Then after the new year there are at least 2 more scheduled before they deploy. Now, I know as an educated Navy wife that these are necessary to the readiness of the strike group and essential to the continued training of the pilots and all that jazz, but that doesn't make it suck any less. It seems like they return them home to us and then a couple of months later they start the next rotation. It can be exhausting. And I swear to god if he is gone in September and misses maddie's birthday again, or our anniversary again I will be pissed. We have NEVER spent an anniversary together and this year will be the 5th for us, and he has NEVER been home for our daughter's birthday and she will be 3. I know it is really hard on him.

We were all ready to have another baby when we thought that the next deployment wouldnt be until 2010. But now that things have changed we are going to have to wait. Sometimes it sucks so bad knowing that the government is pretty much determining how your life is to turn out. It would be nice to say "hey let's have a baby" and then go do it not having to worry that your husband may miss the birth, or the first year of the kid's life. But this is the life we have and we will deal with what we get.

I am just looking forward to the day when his degree is finished and then we can make the decision of staying in and becoming an officer, or getting a civilian job. I know that is not too far away, but then again it is. But until then I will stick it out.

I just needed to vent a little about the cycle restarting its self. We can't seem to be able to catch a break.

Arbor Day

ABC will plant a tree for ever 10 times an embedded video is watched. . .

SPREAD THE WORD!!! Please!

All you military, and even non military people out there. . help a sister out . .lol. I decided last November to open a shop at Cafepress. I have actually done pretty well considering after initially opening it I didnt have tome to work on it all again until a few days ago. I have been busy creating new designs and I have a ton more that I am working on. The big that that I want to be doing is customized designs. I can make anything from your favorite picture, quote, etc, etc. It doesn't even have to be military themed, that is just my main focus since that is my life. lol. I am having a lot of fun doing this and I hope to be able to continue. So if you could pass on the word I would be very thankful! If you are interested in ordering from me please visit my shop and if you are interested in having an item customized email me at the address listed in my shop BEFORE ordering with what you want. Thanks for all of your support! Also, as an added incentive for a limited time I will be offering a 15% discount to the first 25 people that mention this blog. Thanks again, and you can visit my shop via the link below!

I can't watch Army Wives anymore.. .

Army Wives (on Lifetime) is in reruns leading up to the new series premier in early summer. I didn't watch it regularly last season when it was on. Brandon was deployed, and I didn't think I could handle getting into a show about the military. A lot of my friends did get into it though, and were constantly talking about how much they loved it and how true it was. I caught a few minutes of a few episodes at a friends house and it did seem like it would be a good show. So anyway, now that it is in reruns and Brandon is home, I thought I would catch up and start watching it. I am now thinking this was a mistake.

I am sitting alone at 0100 (maddie is sleeping, Brandon is at work, and I am a night owl) . . this episode is great! I love it so far. . then it happens. Some of the guys have to deploy. This makes me start to think about our impending deployment. (sure it isn't until next summer, but damn. . I have been through 2 deployments in less than 2 years. . can't we catch a break?). . Just watching these "fake" Army Wives watch their "fake" Army husbands get on that plane to leave broke me down. I lost it. I started bawling uncontrollably. This is kind of silly I know, but it made me start thinking about my real life. I don't know how I will have the strength to stand in that hangar again next summer and say goodbye to my husband, my best friend, yet again.

I have heard that deployments never get easier, you just find better ways to deal. I don't know. At this point, I don't know if I have the strength to do this again. It is so hard. Unbelievably hard. There is no way to describe it. Giving him that last hug and that last kiss, and then watching him turn and walk to that plane, knowing that you are not going to see him for at least another 6 months. . I just don't know how I am going to do that, AGAIN. Hopefully over the next 12 months or so I will be more at peace with the fact that we will be apart again, but as of now if I was told that he was leaving again soon, then I just don't know what I would do. I mean, I cant really do anything, I am not going to ever leave him, so I will have to deal with it, but I don't know where I will pull that strength from.

I was having premonitions of collapsing on the hanger floor out of pure emotional exhaustion, but I can't do that. I have never let him see my cry as he leaves. I will watch him walk to that plane, with a seabag on his back, he will disappear inside, I will turn and walk to the car, not being able to stand and watch the plane leave, when I get to the car, I will cry my eyes out. When I am calm enough to drive, I will head home, and then as soon as I walk into the house it consumes me with this empty, lonely feeling and I cry some more. Finally, I force myself to get up and go on. I keep this from him because he has enough stress, and he hates leaving us just at much as we hate to watch him go, no need to upset him more.

The first couple of weeks is so hard, and then you settle into a routine and things get a little easier, then around half way it gets to you again. . you realize that it seems like it has been forever since you have seen and touched your love, and that you are ONLY half way. Then it gets a little better again, and then the last month before they come home is pure torture again. It is emotionally exhausting. I just don't want to have to do this again so soon. But it is not up to me. And yes, this is the life that we chose, and we are okay with that, but that does not make the long lonely nights and days any easier.

Don't get me wrong, I swell with pride when I think of my husband out there supporting the fight, and ensuring that we here at home can go to bed safely at night. I love being a part of keeping this great country running. I get emotional just thinking of the pride that me and my husband and friends have for this country. What we have is special and I know that, but it doesn't make the separation any easier. The only peace that I have in it is knowing that MY husband is a hero. He may not be a hero that will make history books, or become a household name, but he is MY hero, and he is Maddie's hero, and we love him so much for the sacrifices he makes in his own life to fight for what he believes in and to provide for his family. He is proud of what he does, and we are so proud of him for doing it.

I want to finish watching Army Wives, maybe watching these "fake" families go through this will help more that hurt. I know these are just actors, but there are thousands of real families going through this every single day. Please keep all of the deployed sailors, marines, soldiers, airman, and coasties and the families that they leave behind in your thoughts and prayers. They go away for months and years at a time to fight for us, the least we can do is stay here and fight for them.

Sigh

So the car is fixed. . over $300 later. grr. The master fuse had blown and it had to have a new battery, that couldnt have come at a better time (sense the sarcasm in my voice).

On a brighter note.. it is only 3 days until my mother gets here to keep my darling angel while I make the 3 hour journey to FL to see my love. I cant wait! I wish he was coming home with me, but 3 more days isnt too long to wait. Hopefully I can keep him home with me for a while this time. We shall see!

Why? Why? Whhhhyyyyy???

UGH! Okay. . hubby comes home in a little over a week. WE ARE SOOOO CLOSE! But guess what.. . I am having issues with the electrical system in my car. The interior lights do not work, the radio does not work, the a/c does not work. . AHHHHHHH. Why me? Why does everything that can go wrong, go wrong when he is away????? I am supposed to be driving down to meet the ship this weekend. Hubby doesn't get to come home then, but I will get to see him for half of a day and that is more than worth a 3 hour drive. . but my effing car is screwed up!!! I called the dealership this morning and they cant get me in until (sigh) 8 in the morning. . so I wait. Please fix it. . and please don't cost a lot of money. . I am just a poor military wife. . lol. Why does this crap ALWAYS happen to me??? Why cant something in my life just go smoothly for once? Just once? sigh. I just needed to vent. I have so much other crap to be doing this week. . that was not penciled into my schedule. . but oh well. Hopefully things will work out. ahh. . life.

I miss my deployed lover.. . .

Please note that this is for NAVY, NOT marines, army, air force, or any of those other branches of the military


Sailors come in all shapes, shades, weights, sizes, and states of sobriety, misery, and confusion. He is sly as a fox, has the nerve of a dope addict, the sincerity of a politician, and the subtly of MT. Saint Helen. He is extremely irresistible, totally irrational and completely indestructible.

A Sailor is a Sailor all his life. He is a magical creature. You can kick him out of your house but not out of your heart. You can take him off your mailing list but not off your mind. Sailors are found everywhere... in love...in battle... in lust... in trouble...in debt...in bars and ... behind them. No one can write so seldom and yet think so much of you. No one else can get so much enjoyment out of a letter or clean clothes or a six pack.

A Sailor is a genius with a deck of cards. A millionaire without a cent and brave without a grain of sense. He is the PROTECTOR OF AMERICA, with the latest copy of playboy in his back pocket. When he wants something it's usually 30 days leave, music that hurts the ears, a five dollar bill...or a woman he can count on.

Girls love them, mothers tolerate them, fathers brag about them,
the government pays them, the police watch out for them and somehow they all work together.

You can beat their bodies but not their minds. You can tame their hearts but not their souls.

He likes girls, beer, females, liquor, women, shots, ladies, and the opposite sex.

He dislikes small checks, working weekends, answering letters, eating chow, waking up, maintaining a uniform, and the day before payday.

You may as well give in. He is your deployed lover...he is
your steel eyed, warm smiling, blank minded, hyperactive, over reacting, curious, passive, talented spontaneous, physically fit, good for nothing bundle of worry.....

And will always be there for you regardless of how long its been since you've last talked.

I felt I should share.. .

Thank you to the woman that wrote this and all of the others that feel the same way. . .we need all of the support we can get. . and people like this are the reason that we do get up every single day and carry on. . just knowing that we are supported and loved and respected is worth more than anything in the world. . that is the only payback any of us would ever ask for. We do it because we love our men and our country.

Thank You~ Jennifer



The woman who wrote this is SO sincere and I honor that. I would like to meet her and shake her hand or even give her a hug. I am warning you have a tissue ready, its got tears in my eyes.

Dear Military Wife,

I am an American woman that has no idea what is going on in the military other than what I hear on the news.

I have never had to let go of someone so that they could go fight for people that they didn't know, people that sometimes do not appreciate or understand what they are fighting for.

I have never had a sleepless night of worry because of a report that another bomb has exploded and I still haven't heard from my husband.

I have never had to wait for months on end to hold the one that I loved so.

I have never had to tell my children that daddy wasn't coming home tonight because he was so far away fighting for something that they aren't yet old enough to understand.

I have never had to hold my head high and suppress the tears as I hear that it will be at least another six months of separation before my loved one gets to come home.

I have never had to deal with a holiday away from the one that I thought I would share every day of my life with.

And I have never had to feel the panic rising in my heart at the sound of a ringing phone or knock at the door for fear that it is the news that everyone is terrified of getting.

For the reasons listed above, I can not tell you that I understand how you feel.

I can not tell you that you must be strong.

I can not say that you shouldn't be angry, because you "knew what you were getting into when you married a military man".
I can not say these things because I have never had to walk in your shoes.

What I can say for certain is that because of your unselfish acts of bravery and your husbands willingness to stand up for those who see him as "just another soldier" - -
I will never have to walk in your shoes.

I do understand that as a military wife you are expected to uphold a certain amount of control, but I never understood how you could do it, until now.

I have figured out that you are not like other women.

You are of a special breed.

You have a strength within you that holds life together in the darkest of hours, a strength of which I will never possess.

The faith you have is what makes you stand out in a crowd; it makes you glow with emotion and swell with pride at the mention of The United States of America.

You are a special lady, a wonderful partner and a glorious American.

I have more respect for your husband than I could ever tell you, but until recently I never thought much about those that the soldier leaves at home during deployment.

Until this moment I could never put into words exactly what
America meant to me.

Until this moment, I had no real reason to.... Until I heard of you.

Your husband and his military family hold this nation close, safe from those who wish to hurt us...but you and those like you are the backbone of the American family.

You keep the wheels in motion and the hearts alive while most would just break completely down.

Military families make this nation what it is today.

You give us all hope and you emit a warming light at the end of a long dark tunnel.

Because of you and your family...I am able to be me.

I am able to have my family.

I am able to walk free in this great land.

Because of you and your family, I can look ahead to the future with the knowledge that life is going to be okay.

Because of you and your family, I can awake to a new day, everyday.

I realize that you are a stronger person than I will ever be because of these things and I just wanted to take the time today to say thank you to you and your family for allowing me that freedom.

I will never be able to repay this debt to you, as it is unmatchable.

However, I hope that you know that no matter where you are...

what you are doing...

what has happened today...

or what will happen tomorrow...

Your husband will NEVER be "just another soldier" to me....

And you, dear sweet lady, will never be forgotten.

You are all in my prayer's everyday and I pray that God will bring you back together with your loved one safely.

May God Bless You