Random Thoughts

I am bored out of my mind and the lil one is napping so I thought I would get on here and spit some random thoughts.

Happy Memorial Day first off. I hope that everyone is remembering the true meaning of the day and not that it is just a day to get off work and have and excuse for a barbecue. Many men and women have died for this country and they deserve the upmost respect.

There are only like 5 more days until the dh comes home. It seems like he has been gone forever and it has only been like 9 days. This upcoming deployment is going to SUCK! But oh well, what can you do?

My dad and stepmom came and visited for a few days. That was nice. They don't ever get to visit. We ran non stop the whole time they were here, but we had a blast. The only thing is that when I go do something or go eat somewhere where I have never been before I feel a little guilty that dh can't be there with me. But then I remember that he has gotten to go to about 9 countries that I have not seen and there are no telling how many more before his career is over. So I only feel bad for a second! ha ha. I am exhausted after them leaving though, so I have done NOTHING today. Tomorrow brings house cleaning and laundry though. . fun fun.

Let's see. . what's next? My little brother is a piece of shit. I wish I could strangle him with my bare hands. I am sick and tired of him mooching off of everyone and getting away with it. I don't care what lifestyle he chooses to live, that is his business. . but he needs to do that on his own. . and not have to rely on an 83 year old woman and a 21 year old girl to support him. What kind of loser does that? Well, more to come about that. . but the little one just woke up. .

I love my mom. . I really do!

So I started back on my WW diet today. . I was doing sooo good last summer and then I moved and couldn't go to meetings anymore. . but I took a vow to stick with it and all that BS. Well of course I didn't stick with it, and I have started back 3 times since, to last about 3-4 weeks and fall off the wagon again. Well I made up my mind. . this is the week! I am starting today! Nobody is getting in my way! I was doing great today. . wonderful in fact! I stuck with my diet just fine. . then I actually went and walked at least 2 miles. I was very proud. Then I get home. The doorbell rings. It is a woman with a huge bouquet of flowers. I look at hubby he say's "it wasn't me. ." and then shoots the "Who the hell sent you flowers" look. Then She hands me a huge box of chocolates. From the Chocolate Tree. . a local candy store. I have been wanting to get candy from there since I have moved here. . but I refrained. I read the card. . "Happy Mother's Day. . blah blah blah, Love, Mom". Back to the "I love my mom, I really do". Now if this was just some random box of chocolates I could resist no problem. . I don't eat a lot of sweets anyway. But, no, this is the best chocolate I have had in a while. This is even better than River Street Sweets in Savannah and I thought that place was the best ever! Now I have to practice "Will Power" ha ha. . if I had will power I would not need WW. I am starting by taking a lot of it to the squadron tonight and giving it to the guys in Hubby's shop. That will take care of some of it. . but the rest is for me!! ha ha. . I guess I will be walking 4 miles the rest of the week! I guess that is pay back for the 2lbs of Hershey's chocolate I sent my mom for Mother's Day! ha ha ha! But she is about to get liposuction. . so she can get away with it! BLAH!

Kind of a funny story. . .

We went to town on Sunday and when we were coming back onto the base I said let's just stop by the park with Maddison. . so we started to and then I decided that maybe we should run home fist and grab her something to drink because it was super hot that day and then we could just walk to the park. Well we got the drinks and were getting ready to walk that way when we say a HUGE black cloud of smoke in the same area we were about to go to. That particular park his right next to the 7 day store/gas station. So we hopped into the car instead and headed that way thinking the gas station was on fire. When we got around the corner we quickly realized it wasn't the gas station, it was the park! ha ha. It is not every day you see slides with 40 foot flames coming out the top. This is the same place we would have been at if we wouldn't have gone to the house for drinks. When we drove by it the first time it was fine so it had to have happened during the 2-3 mins we were at home. We watched the firemen put it out, but it was completely destroyed. The housing communtiy is undergoing remodeling and that was the last park they finished. . it was all brand new equpitment that is now a melted pile of plastic. I have no idea how it started. The lil one just watched and said "Oh No!! Uh Oh!!" over and over. It was sad! ha ha. Well I guess that is just one more traumatic childhood event that she can discuss with her therapist one day! Needless to say we went to another park! But we had fun none the less. Just thought I would share my amusing story.

Mother's Day. .

I had a pretty good Mother's Day. Hubby let me sleep in and then he brought me breakfast in bed. He got me a nice pot for my palm tree on the front porch, and a few other little things for the yard, and a sweet card from him and the lil one. Then later that night he cooked me dinner and even cleaned the kitchen! It was a wonderful thing. I wish every day was Mother's Day. . he he. I hope everyone else had a great day also.

Well on a more Ugh side of things.. my hubby just realized a few days ago that he was sent the wrong books for one of his distance learning courses, and when he called them to find out what he needed to do, they said well we can send you the new books but your tests and homework have to be turned in by the 15th. HA HA HA. He got the right books like Saturday, and then had until today to do all of the quizzes, homework, and then go take 2 tests and a final today. So I got conned into doing his homework. It was algebra, I have not done algebra since 8th grade. . and there were 60 assignments to do in 2 days. I started working on these yesterday morning at about 10am. . I went to bed at about 5:30am this morning. Got up, and started again. Only stopping to take care of the lil one's needs. My hand hurts, my head hurts, my neck hurts, and I am tired! Ugh, the things we will do for our husbands. But we got it done and he went and took his tests and final. Praise the lord!

About the lil one. . we are doing GREAT with potty training. I am so proud of her. She is doing a wonderful wonderful job. We are still having some accidents, but that is to be expected. I am not forcing it. She just pretty much goes when she wants to right now. She is such a great kid. She keeps me laughing all day long. I don't know what I would do without her.

Hubby leaves Sunday to go on a det (detachment) to the boat again. Good news, is they are only supposed to be gone for 10 days. Yay! That is great! Bad news is, there are rumours flying that they will not be coming back and just go straight into deployment. Not great! But they are just rumours right now. They have a pre-deployment briefing this week sometime, so maybe we will find out for sure then.

My dad and stepmom are coming to visit next week. This should be fun. They don't get to come visit very often. They only came to Va Beach, one time, and I think that is only because we had just had the baby. ha ha.

I'm really not that bad of a mom. . .

I guess some days being a "single" parent just gets to me. I am to the point today where I just don't want to go any further. I have the beginnings of a migraine and I just want to crawl into bed and cry. Husband is supposed to be home at midnight Saturday. Well I have to drive to Savannah and pick him up at midnight because the air strip here is closed due to the airshow this weekend. But anyway. . back to my point. Some days I just want to give up. I have yelled so much today. This is one of those days where the kid is being a SHIT. She is into EVERYTHING. Tearing up EVERYTHING. I have been trying to clean today. . ha ha ha. I can't get one thing finished without turning the corner and a new mess awaits. If I find one more goldfish cracker crushed into the carpet I think I may flip. I know it is not her fault, it is all of my emotions that need to be fixed. .

My life is so stressed right now. I guess I don't really have anyone to turn to. Nobody really understands how I am feeling, or they will judge me for the things that I need to get off my chest. I guess keeping all of this bottled inside is starting to take its toll on me. I don't like being that mom that screams at her kid constantly and just wants to beat her until she stops, but that is how I feel right now. I never wanted to have kids this young. But I guess that you have to take the hand that you are dealt. Here lately I have been rethinking a lot of decisions that I have made in my life. What if I would have done this differently or this. . or so on. But I can't change things now. . so I need to move on with life. Sometimes I just feel like I am missing out on something. What, I don't know. . but something.

Well I guess I need to get my head out of my ass and try and survive until bed time. Hopefully that won't be too far away.

OMG I want to sleep!

It is 1 am! I am not sleeping. Why, you might ask. Because I have my eyes glued to the radar. Yes, it is getting to be that time of year again when almost every week there is a threat of severe weather. It ALWAYS happens when I am alone. . ALWAYS!! So I get to pull double duty and stay up by myself. It really hasn't gotten here yet and that is what is pissing me off. It is just west of us. I wish it would hurry up and move through so I can go to bed. Because no matter how much sleep I manage to get, Maddison will be up at the ass crack of dawn as her usual chipper self. UGH! This has been a really dangerous set of storms though. One did some serious damage in Enterprise, AL. My step mom's sister lives there, and the tornado was really close to her house. Luckily they are fine and had no damage. Our tornado siren has gone off twice today for no reason. . I dunno. But it is REALLY freaking loud! It is like maybe 100 yards from my house! GEEZE! I just hope it doesn't have to go off again. It would be nice for it to just blow over and then I can go to bed. But just in case it doesn't, just like any good southern girl, I have the bathroom ready. . blankets, pillows, shoes, jackets, flashlight, and my purse! haha. Well, that is what you get from living in AL all your life! Well, we shall see how the rest of the night plays out. . hopefully uneventful!!

Are you kidding me??

Well, the ship was supposed to get underway yesterday. But instead I get a phone call saying that as they were pushing away from the pier the ship went dead in the water! Are you kidding me? So they moored back up and sent divers into the water to fix the problem.. something to do with one of the propellors or something. It took the divers until after 10 last night to fix it. Then no more did they get finished with that, they had a problem in one of the engine rooms. So as of midnight last night hubby still didnt know when they were going to get to pull out. He called this morning at about 0930 and said they were attempting to push off again. I assume they made it because I have not heard anything contrary to that. Is that not a sign that they just dont need to go?? I can just see them out in the middle of the ocean and the reactors going down. .which they have been known to do. . leaving them bobbing like an oversized bath toy! That ship is a piece of shit anyway. It was supposed to be decommed next year, but they are wanting to extend it until 2013! Come on now! I will bet hubby's left nut it doesnt make it 2 more years! While on cruise he broke a handrail just by bumping into it. It was so rusty the damned thing just snapped apart! Safe, huh?? Let's just hope the rest of this little underway period is uneventful!

Yay, my first blog!

Well, I decided to start a blog. Writing is such good therapy. I could definitely use some!

So, yesterday morning I dropped hubby off at the hangar for his "boat det". I managed to do this with no tears despite the circumstances. Well, no tears that is until the drive back home. Normally this wouldn't be that big of an ordeal. Drop him off, he goes to sea for three weeks, pick him up and bring him home. But this time the chain of command has managed to leave us all in the dark. There have been rumours flying for a few weeks now that they are not going to come back in 3 weeks. As a matter of fact, it has been said that they could be out for as long as 9 months. When seeking answers to these questions we were met with. . well "officially" we will be back in 3 weeks, but "officially" pack a sea bag like you will not be returning. This is ridiculous! Knowing that they are going out for 6-9 months is one thing. You have time to prepare emotionally, financially, get things done around the house, that sort of thing. But to be given a time period of 3 weeks to 9 months. . . come on now!! Being a military wife you learn to cope with being alone much of the time. It isn't easy, and I don't think it ever does get easier, but we deal. But now I am just pissed! If you are going to snatch my husband away on a deployment, fine, I know it is for a reason, but give us a little notice!

I ♥ being a Navy wife. I am very proud of my husband and the things they do. Sometimes the loneliness just gets to me. My family is great though, they call, write, and sometimes even visit! It helps a lot. Also chasing an 18 month old passes the days by pretty quickly!

Speaking of 18 month old. . . the little one is doing great. She amazes me every day. It seems here lately she is learning a new word every single day. She is such a great kid, I couldn't have asked for anything better. We were lucky. I can't believe how big she is now though, it seems like just a few months ago I was bringing her home from the hospital. My only regret with her is that I wish hubby could get to see her grow and develop more. It seems like every time she does something new he is not around, and has to learn about it later. He catches himself treating her like a tiny baby sometimes, and then he has to step back and realize that she isn't so tiny any more. She loves her daddy though! They are inseparable when he is around.

They are finally finished with the renovations on my house. Thank God! All that is left is landscaping. They put the irrigation system in Friday and a tree. now comes the flower beds, and grass. . oh yeah and they have to repave the driveway, but after that they will be FINISHED! Yay, no more strange people in, and around my house all of the time! Very Exciting news!!

Oh yeah. . .