The Countdown begins. . .

until Deployment. . . UGH. I have put it off as long as possible. I guess I thought that if I didn't think about it or if I didn't talk about it that it wouldn't happen. Well pretending that he is not leaving is not going to work anymore. . we are in final countdown mode. I hate the final week before he leaves. There is never ending amounts of stuff to do. Honey do this and honey do that before you leave because I don't want it to mess up while you are gone. . paperwork, paperwork, paperwork. Making sure the direct deposit is good, making sure we have an agreement on each other's budget while we are apart, making sure the power of attorney is good, making sure the dreaded will is correct, filling out emergency contact sheets, filling out final wishes sheets, making sure the all of his file is up to date. . it never ends. . then there is the packing. . the shopping for the packing. . . never ending nonsense. There is so much stuff to do to prepare there is no time to spend just having family time. . .well not that we could get that anyway because on top of all the stuff that has to be done at home there is that much and more for him to do at work so they are working 16-18 hour nights and weekends. . oh we did hear that they might get the 4th off work. . how sweet of them to let us celebrate independence day. .you know the reason they are fighting in the first place.

I am just really stressed right now. But I put the brave face on and tell him how supportive I am and that I am so proud of him and that we will be fine. Then I do the crying behind closed doors so that no one can see. I know he hates leaving us behind and he hates missing so much in the lil ones life. . . but deep down he has this need and want to go. As soon as they get the orders there is this little sparkle that they all get in their eyes. They try their best to hid it from us. . be we see it. We secretly hate that twinkle, but it is comforting to know that the people that are out there defending us want to be there and the love every minute of it. Yeah, they sometimes complain, but who doesn't complain about their job? But at the end of the day every single sailor, marine, soldier, or airman that I know would go back in a heartbeat and they cant think of anything else they would rather be doing.

Ships movement is happening sooner than what we were originally told, but that is really no surprise to me. I have learned that in a life with the government you don't expect something to happen on a certain date until it is actually happening. Dates, times, and places WILL be changed a hundred times before the event. For me being such an organization freak this is a little unnerving for me, but I manage. . ha ha.

As the deployment creeps nearer the fights get closer together. They call it "predeployment isolation". ha ha leave it to the government to name everything. They say it is because you don't want to get close to anyone that you know that you are going to be apart from for a while. It happens every time. . and then 5 minutes after you drop him off he calls and says I am so sorry.. I miss you already. ha ha ha. . it's just another one of those things that we deal with. But anyway. . I am going to go. I am sure that I will be writing a lot more about this, because this is a great outlet for me. . I don't like to whine to people with my problems so I will just air them out for the entire cyberspace to read . . ha ha.

Ta ta for now!