Thursday, October 25, 2007

I felt I should share.. .

Thank you to the woman that wrote this and all of the others that feel the same way. . .we need all of the support we can get. . and people like this are the reason that we do get up every single day and carry on. . just knowing that we are supported and loved and respected is worth more than anything in the world. . that is the only payback any of us would ever ask for. We do it because we love our men and our country.

Thank You~ Jennifer



The woman who wrote this is SO sincere and I honor that. I would like to meet her and shake her hand or even give her a hug. I am warning you have a tissue ready, its got tears in my eyes.

Dear Military Wife,

I am an American woman that has no idea what is going on in the military other than what I hear on the news.

I have never had to let go of someone so that they could go fight for people that they didn't know, people that sometimes do not appreciate or understand what they are fighting for.

I have never had a sleepless night of worry because of a report that another bomb has exploded and I still haven't heard from my husband.

I have never had to wait for months on end to hold the one that I loved so.

I have never had to tell my children that daddy wasn't coming home tonight because he was so far away fighting for something that they aren't yet old enough to understand.

I have never had to hold my head high and suppress the tears as I hear that it will be at least another six months of separation before my loved one gets to come home.

I have never had to deal with a holiday away from the one that I thought I would share every day of my life with.

And I have never had to feel the panic rising in my heart at the sound of a ringing phone or knock at the door for fear that it is the news that everyone is terrified of getting.

For the reasons listed above, I can not tell you that I understand how you feel.

I can not tell you that you must be strong.

I can not say that you shouldn't be angry, because you "knew what you were getting into when you married a military man".
I can not say these things because I have never had to walk in your shoes.

What I can say for certain is that because of your unselfish acts of bravery and your husbands willingness to stand up for those who see him as "just another soldier" - -
I will never have to walk in your shoes.

I do understand that as a military wife you are expected to uphold a certain amount of control, but I never understood how you could do it, until now.

I have figured out that you are not like other women.

You are of a special breed.

You have a strength within you that holds life together in the darkest of hours, a strength of which I will never possess.

The faith you have is what makes you stand out in a crowd; it makes you glow with emotion and swell with pride at the mention of The United States of America.

You are a special lady, a wonderful partner and a glorious American.

I have more respect for your husband than I could ever tell you, but until recently I never thought much about those that the soldier leaves at home during deployment.

Until this moment I could never put into words exactly what
America meant to me.

Until this moment, I had no real reason to.... Until I heard of you.

Your husband and his military family hold this nation close, safe from those who wish to hurt us...but you and those like you are the backbone of the American family.

You keep the wheels in motion and the hearts alive while most would just break completely down.

Military families make this nation what it is today.

You give us all hope and you emit a warming light at the end of a long dark tunnel.

Because of you and your family...I am able to be me.

I am able to have my family.

I am able to walk free in this great land.

Because of you and your family, I can look ahead to the future with the knowledge that life is going to be okay.

Because of you and your family, I can awake to a new day, everyday.

I realize that you are a stronger person than I will ever be because of these things and I just wanted to take the time today to say thank you to you and your family for allowing me that freedom.

I will never be able to repay this debt to you, as it is unmatchable.

However, I hope that you know that no matter where you are...

what you are doing...

what has happened today...

or what will happen tomorrow...

Your husband will NEVER be "just another soldier" to me....

And you, dear sweet lady, will never be forgotten.

You are all in my prayer's everyday and I pray that God will bring you back together with your loved one safely.

May God Bless You

Friday, October 19, 2007

To my Navy Girls. . . . I love you guys!

"The goodbyes are what make hellos so wonderful."

How many times have we heard this? How many times have we heard this and wanted to hate it, but instead had to love it because it was the truth. Hundreds maybe.. even thousands of times.

Loving a man far away is hard, no matter what anyone says. Long distance in itself is difficult. But what magnifies it even more is the military lifestyle, the fact that our men are also Sailors. Being an extension of the Navy, we are involved too. We lead our civilian lives, but, whether or not we believe it, we also lead extensions of our Sailor's life. We learn about the Navy. We read about it, speak of it, and maybe even dream about it. We know what all the acronyms mean, and we don't even have to think twice when confronted with military time. We know rank, and how to address it. We find ourselves swelling with pride every time we hear the National Anthem or America the Beautiful. Both of which give us chills down our spines and tears in our eyes. Every time we see another man in uniform, our hearts yearn for our own Sailor, and our prayers extend to whomever is loving this man from far away. Each of you know exactly what I mean as I sit here, writing this to you.

I am writing it for you.

For all of you who wake up in the morning, lay there for a few moments, trying to swallow the sick feeling in the pit of your stomach as you wonder where your Sailor is or how he is doing... this is for you.

For all of you who start a countdown the minute he leaves and continue to until he is back in your arms again... this is for you.

For all of you who tear up every time "Far Away" comes on the radio, or who press repeat when "Come Home Soon" plays in your car... this one's for you.

For all of you who see Navy billboards, ads in the paper, or commercials on TV and next notice the tears rolling down your cheeks, this is for you.

I am one of you too. This is for US.

For all the times we sleep with our phones on the loudest possible volume as to not miss the call that just MIGHT come...

For all of you who can't walk past the computer when your Sailor is deployed without just checking to see if MAYBE you have an email.

For all the times we roll our eyes when another girl is depressed because she hasn't seen her guy in a week... poor thing.

For all of you who know exactly how many hours ahead of you your Sailor is when he is in Iraq, Afghanistan, Kuwait, Dubai, The Gulf, Japan, etc. . .

For all the late nights that we spend alone, cuddling with our stuffed animals, wearing our Sailors PT sweatshirts and sweatpants, clutching his precious dog tags around our necks...

This one is for us.

We may feel weak on the inside, but, on the outside we're strong.
We may be drowning in tears on the inside, but, on the outside we are a rock.
We may want to crawl into bed and sleep until our man comes home, but, instead, we get up and go on with our daily lives with our men in our hearts, and always in our thoughts.
We may feel like we're slowly dying with each day we spend apart from our men, but, instead, we put one foot in front of the other and take each day as it comes.

We are strong and we are proud.
We have more love in our hearts than we ever thought possible, and, for this, we are thankful. We are thankful for our men and also for each other. We are Sailor's girls and we lean on one another. We have a sisterhood.

Alone we are weak, but, together we are strong. We help each other and we survive.

To all of you USN gals out there- hold your head up and be proud.
We are connected, ALWAYS.

Monday, October 15, 2007

I can breathe. . . .

I just had the most amazing phone call with my husband. He called from port and it is the first time I have heard his voice in a month. But the most amazing thing is all of the stuff that we talked about. He spent $50 to buy 2 phone cards so that we could talk for 2 hours. . that was a great surprise. I don't know why, but we both just started opening up and talking about things that we have never really talked about. We have had some really rough years in our marriage and to be honest. . neither one of us thought that it would last. Not because we didn't care about each other, just because we had given up on each other. But that is a whole different story. Things were BAD. But things have gotten better in the last 6 months. A LOT better. I am very guilty of not being there for him in his times of need, because I felt like he was never there for me. . so when his dad passed away. . I did what I needed to do as far as help organize the funeral, and take care of the financials and getting the house and stuff taken care of. . but I never really opened myself up to him to let him grieve. . yes, I had beef with his dad. . but that should never have made me not be there for my husband. Anyway, that is another REALLY long story. And I have done quite a few other things that i really regret. I had a talk with my best friend one night about all of our problems and things I did and things he did. . and she just told me that she feels like everything, good or bad, happens for a reason, and if it wouldn't have happened I wouldn't be feeling like I am today. It just kind of switched a light on for me. She is totally right. Now this is the same person I have been trying to give marital advice to, she needs to just listen to herself. . lol. But from that day on, I have realized that I am more in love with my husband than the day that I married him. . and I cant thank her enough for that. Yes, before I was getting to this point. . I was finally happy with him, and the way things were going, but I just needed that push to realize that everything was going to be okay. And after talking to him today, I know that everything is going to be okay. We were both in tears when we got off the phone. . and he was around hundreds of guys, but he said he didn't care. He talked to me about things that had been bothering him about us, and I did the same thing, and we talked about his dad dying. . and a lot of other things. It was a GREAT talk. . probably one of the best we have ever had. I am just so at peace right now. . it is a wonderful feeling. Also, for anyone who cares. We have decided that as soon as he gets home we are going to have another baby. This was his idea. I have tossed around the thought, but I wanted to wait until it was a better time for him. . but the more I kept thinking about it, I realized that there never would be a perfect time for us. . if we wait until shore duty maddison will be 5, nearly 6 before we had it, and I just don't want them that far apart. . so we will officially be trying when he gets home. I am so excited. On another note. . maddison is sick. . I feel sorry for her. . she is running a fever and puking.. .fun fun. Hopefully she will feel better tomorrow.

Sunday, October 14, 2007

Frustration. . .

Talking dirty through email is just not that effective. . . LOL.

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Saturday, October 13, 2007

OUCH!

That is what I say everytime my bra strap rubs my shoulders. . lol. I have spent 2 days this week at the beach, and I am going back Sunday. I am burnt.. but I love it! Lol. I wouldnt have it any other way. I think it just kind of dawned on us that summer is over, and fall is passing by quickly, so we need to get as much beach time in as possible. I love the ocean.. it is such a stress reliever for me. I love going to the beach and laying in the sun, cooking my ass, and listening to the waves crash. . ahh heaven. The kids love it. I love them being there. . we can let them go, and they run and they play, and they are not in my hair. . LOVE IT. It has been a pretty good week. Tomorrow is 100 days since hubby left. Time has been pretty good to us. Not too slow. He will be home in less than 100 days. . so that is a wonderful thing. Cant wait! He is hitting port in a few days. . so I will get a phone call.. I cant wait to hear his voice again! He has also been promoted to shift supervisor. . this is a good thing for him. . it looks great on his evals.. but it also means a lot more work. . so that sucks for me. But he is great at his job and he puts his whole heart into it.. so things will be fine. I am just so proud of him.

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